


| Ace | Levi Ackerman x reader (English)

by Florboo, Sneyr (Florboo)



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Angst, Drama, F/M, Long, Minor Character Death, Romance, Slow Burn, Smut
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-04
Updated: 2021-01-14
Packaged: 2021-03-01 18:27:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 7
Words: 38,364
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23571586
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Florboo/pseuds/Florboo, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Florboo/pseuds/Sneyr
Summary: Desperate to survive (Y/N), best known in the illegal world of wrestling as "Ace", finds herself forced to hide between the lines of the military as another faceless soldier.|Slowburn story|| Tumblr:Sneyrwrites|
Relationships: Levi & Reader, Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin)/Reader, Levi Ackerman x Reader - Relationship, Levi/Reader, levi x reader
Comments: 17
Kudos: 89





	1. Ace: Origins

The darkness offered her the shelter she needed to go unnoticed.  
The rhythmic sound of her footsteps on the ground kept her in some kind of trance, (Y/N) wasn’t paying attention to her surroundings, too focused on her thoughts.  
When she got the letter at her door followed by the classic knocking pattern on the old wood, she knew she had to get ready. Usually, the staff of “The Basement” notified the fighters with a few days prior before a fight, but it wasn’t the first time she had to hurry either.  
(Y/N) was relieved that her father was on duty that night guarding the Wall Maria. Usually he finished a few hours later than her arrival, and even if she got home later than usual, her father was knocked out cold on the couch, not even able to strip from his uniform and lay in bed.

In the Garrison his father was one of the few personnel that took the job seriously, earning the hatred from his colleges. They even called him “Paranoid”. Finch Müller was a splendid soldier, dedicated and a wonderful fighter. His passionate desire to exterminate the titans after his father’s death took him into the rows of the Army. (Y/N) always found strange the fact that her father never joined the Scout legion, settling instead for the garrison. But once she got older, she understood the situation. Her mother Adrianne got pregnant when they were still young, so his father had to give up his dream of going outside the walls to provide for his family, assuring his survival, and calming his wife’s anxiety, even tho he was one of the top ten scores he opted for the garrison to be close to the walls just in case things went south.

Since she was six years old, his father had to take care of her just by himself. Her mother had passed away suddenly because of a disease that spread inside the walls. Unfortunately, his income was not enough, they could barely pay for the taxes and the food. Clothes was a privilege they could afford only sometimes. Medicine was almost impossible to access.  
One winter in particular had been extremely cold, and (Y/N) was forced to do everything she could do to survive. His father had forbidden her from working, not only because of her young age but also because his pride was too big to accept the fact that they were struggling. Finch started working double shifts, hoping to get some extra money in his pocket, but the pay day kept getting delayed and if things kept going that way they would’ve died from starvation or cold before seeing the goddamned money.  
Desperate (Y/N) found herself begging on the streets for some food or some clothes. Usually some friendly ladies took pity on her frail form and gifted a piece of bread or if she was lucky enough an old sweater or socks. Two years went on that way, without her father knowing of her ways. until things got really ugly really fast.  
When she had just turned thirteen, (Y/N) was roaming the streets in search of Mrs. Argón a mother of three, married to a merchant who, usually, gave her some old clothes from her daughter.  
She could never forget how the cold seeped into her shoes, freezing her little toes, even tho it was the beginning of autumn. It was getting late, and she needed to go back home, but (Y/N) refused to lay a foot on her house empty handed.  
She was so focused on her empty stomach that she failed to notice the presence of a man behind her.  
(Y/N) should've been more careful, her father always warned her about the dangers of wandering the streets alone. she knew she had to pay attention to her surroundings in order to survive. Her father lessons imprinted in her brain, but she had been careless. The hairs on the back of her neck raised before a hand covered her mouth, and another one sneaked to her waist, dragging her into the alley she had left behind moments ago.  
Somehow she got free from the vice grip the unknown man had on her body and she tried to run to the exit of the dark hallway she was forced into by that creep, but it wasn’t as easy as she thought. The man grabbed (Y/N) by the hair, pulling her backwards. The pain erupted in her skull, burning her scalp, she landed on the floor, she could see her attacker for the first time. His clothes were dirty, and his beard was a long and curly mess. His image was forever printed in her brain. From that close distance (Y/N) could smell the alcohol in his breath, revolving her stomach. the fear in her veins freezed her blood, never in her life she had never been as afraid as she was rigth there and then.  
Still gripping her hair, the man dragged her to the end of the alley, smashing her against the wall. falling to the ground, (Y/N) tried to scream, but when she opened her mouth a burning pain exploded on her cheek. That motherfucker had just punched her straight in the face. stars flashed before her eyes and a wave of dizziness hit her body.  
Her flight of fight instincts kicked in. (Y/N) knew she had to do something in the next few minutes, otherwise she wouldn’t make it out unscratched. The man pounced on her, but befor he could lay a hand on her she extended her leg, catching him streight on the nose. her kick wasn’t that strong to cause any damage, but it was enogh to get up from the floor and away from the wall.  
(Y/N) could’t do a single step in te direcion of the exit, because the drunken man grabed her arm, twiring her around. he forced her to walk backwards until the wall hit her back. His head went down and he took a breath in into the sking of her neck. his warm and wet exhale sent chill down her spine. trapped like she was (Y/N) diddn’t had that much options. the fear was starting to take control of her body as she stood completly still. Until the man dragged a hand down her stomach in the direction of her pants.  
As if she were a powder keg, she simply exploded.  
With a scream that could put any soldier to shame, the kid headbutted the pathetic excuse of a man that was standing infront of her, catching him dead on the chin. with a pained growl the man tok both of his hands to his face, trying to soothe the pain, taking a step back and away from the girl. that extra space allowed (Y/N) to lift her knee and hit her abuser in the groin. he fell to the ground on his knees with a silent scream trapped in his throut.  
Rage took control of her body. (Y/N) floored hin in a swift motion and started to hit his face, delivering one punch after the oher without mercy. Blood was flying everywere, but it was imposible to pinpoint were it was coming from, it could be from the broken nose of the attacker, or it could also come from her battered knuckles. she didn’t care about the pain she was causing on herself, too blinded by the fury to stop.  
(Y/N) grabbed the man by the hair, ignoring his moaning protests, she lifted his head from the ground only to smashit against the floor repetaldy. she would never forget the sound of the man’s skull colliding against the cold stone over and over again. Her wrist ached because of the effort, but (Y/N) could not snap out of it.

She was so lost inside her head that she didn’t notice the pair of hands grabbing her from her armpits, trying to take her away from the unconscious body of her abuser who now had a swollen face. Struggling against the hold, she trashed around, landing one last kick to the drunken man before being dragged away.  
The sunset light hit her face, and she came back to it.

She looked down at her hands, covered in blood. She winced when she noticed the skin on her knuckles destroyed, letting the muscles peak trough. Once the adrenaline started to retreat from her body she felt the pain, as her body shook violently.

(Y/N) still hadn’t seen who took her out of the alley, and her face turned pale when she turned around and noticed the roses on the patch of the garrison soldier right in front of her.  
Without a word, the man grabbed her by the arm and started leading her somewhere, almost dragging her along. Her legs were barely responding, and she almost hit the ground twice, but the firm grip on her bicep stopped her from falling down. She was sure of her doom, prison calling her name. She wasn’t sure of the condition of her abuser, but she was suddenly worried about his condition. What if she’d killed him? Her father would be so disappointed on her, he would put the blame on his shoulders without a doubt. The officer still didn’t spoke a word to her, and the panic was starting to kick in again.

They left the circulated area behind as the light kept going down. With every passing second she was fearing more and more for her future. After what felt like hours, they arrived at an apparently,

unoccupied house. The windows were boarded up from the inside, and the shattered glass distorted her reflection as she looked up.

Without letting her go, the garrison searched his pocket with his free hand, and he pulled out a key.

When the door clicked open, he made her go in first, locking it behind him. Inside the room it was pitch black, to the point where (Y/N) could not even make out the outlines of furniture in the darkness. The soldier pushed her further in and her guts constricted with fear, she recoiled on herself a little, trying to protect herself. If the man tried to pull something on her, she was too tired to fight back.

The sound of a chair being dragged on the floorboards made her jolt.

She just stood there, standing in the middle of the room, almost glued to the ground. The guard departed from her, but she could still hear his footsteps in the next room over. He seemed to search for something.

After a few minutes the light from a candle chased away the darkness, and the kid was able to take in her surroundings.

It was a modest home, with only a few furniture items. A small square table was in the center, with two chairs on either side of it. The Garrison guard took a sit on one. PLACING THE LIT CANDLE on top of the table. he indicated her to sit in the other available chair and proceeding to cross his arms across his chest.

With clumsy and insecure moves the young girl obeyed him, fully intimidated by the man in front of her. His eyes piercing through her soul, while she wasn’t capable to look at him.

“All right, I hope you are aware of the amount of trouble you’re in.” He started “My name is Annton and i’ts obvious I’m a soldier of the Garrison Regiment”

He paused, waiting for some kind of response. (Y/N) only nodded her head, not a single word coming out of her mouth.

“Good, what you did was terrible. I’m not sure if you are aware of the amount of damage you made upon that man. ¿Care to explain what happened?” Another silence followed his voice.

(Y/N) Opened her mouth, but closed it again right after. She could not process everything that happened that day, and to be honest she wasn’t even sure she wanted to. She was simply unable to put anything into words. In that moment she felt less like a human and more like a cornered animal. One without claws or sharp teeths.

“Well, if you don’t want to talk, I guess we’ll just go and search for your parents " (Y/N) stared at her hands. “LOOK AT MY FACE WHEN I’M TALKING TO YOU!” He exclaimed, his fist smashing against the surface of the table. The candle wobbled a little because of the impact.

The sudden violence attack seemed to snap her out of the stupor. She raised her eyes, a little more aware and in focus. The man in front of her relaxed his shoulders, crossing his arms once again, leaning back on the chair.

For the first time in the night, (Y/n) could analyze his face. Annton was in his late twenties, with a handsome face and a beard covering his jawline. His hair was neat and clean, as well as his clothes. She couldn’t help but to feel self conscious of her dirty and blood-stained shirt. His eyes seemed to be brown, but they could be green too, she couldn’t be sure with the weak lighting.

“I asked you something. Who are your parents kid? “His patience see to be running down.

(Y/N) tried not to show the fear that was running through her veins. If his father found out about he would be so disappointed. She couldn’t permit it, he was already stressed enough with his work, she refused to put more on his shoulders with her problems.

Annton stared at her, waiting for an answer. 

“They die because of the plage” The lie slipped effortlessly from her lips. She silently asked his father for forgivness.

A spark of interest shone behind his eyes. Annton leaned fowards on the table,resting his elbows on it.

“Oh my! it seems like we have a problem kid, " (y/n) didn’t like the smile on his face one bit “Who is going to pay the fine for your little street fight? You have the money i assume.- The satisfaction radiating from him was almost palpable.

That little detail didn’t even crossed her mind, there was no way in the world she could pay the infraction he was implying.

“No…” She whispered, defeated, with a shaky voice.

“Well, that’s a shame. Jail time it is.” Annton’s smile grew on his face, as if he was entertained by all the mess she was in.

Even tho what he said, he did not move from the chair and just stared at her,

The nerves were consuming her, she was going to faint at any moment. (Y/N) couldn't tell if her vision was blurry because of the tears or if her conscious was for real abandoning her. Observing her altered state, Annton reclined further into his chair, almost as if he was sizing her up.

“Or…” He paused “We could work up a deal”

Her eyes shone with relief and what little innocence she still had within her surfaced Annton smiled satisfied

“I wil. ” She answered, her voice devoid of doubt.

“Don’t you want to know what the deal is about?” He asked, eyebrows raised.

“I don’t care as long as my debt is forgiven.” 

The silence returned for a few seconds, only to be suddenly interrupted when Annton bursted out laughing. He scared the poor girl to death, who only managed to shrink down in the chair even more.

“Wow, I like you kid! “He said when he was able to calm down his laughter " But i wouldn’t call it ‘forgive’…It’s more like a payment plan”

(Y/N) was confused. The sufficient look he was giving her making the alarms went off in her brain. 

-There’s this thing called the basement,” He explained “Only a selected group of people know about it, and I think you could fit right in”

“And what is it about?” Her distrust growing.

“Nothing much… You just spar against another person until one of you can't keep going. The spectators place bets and a part of the raised money goes to the winner,” His smiled turned spooky. He was enjoying her fear a little too much. “Don’t worry, the referee stops the fight before someone dies. But if you're not sure you can always go to jail, it’s up to you, really.” 

(Y/N) was petrified. The only experience she had on fighting was his father’s training sessions, and the encounter with the drunk man, and none of them counted. His father was always gentle with her and the drunken rapist was too intoxicated to coordinate properly.She was against a wall and a really hard place. If she refused she was going to be behind bars, her father not able to find her again. But if she agreed to do it, it was certain her face was going to be disfigured by the blows.

Annton seemed to notice her indecision, and he got up from the chair all of the sudden, making it fall to the ground with a loud bang. He circled the table and yanked (Y/N) up by the arm.

“Then off to the cell we go.” The icy fingers stabbed the inside of her upper arm.

Closing her eyes she took courage

“I’ll do it” His steps halted.

“Fantastic!” He clapped his hands. Like his sudden change of behavior was completely normal Annton circled her shoulder with his arm. “What’s your name kid?”

She was not up to revealing anything from her life to him, she was already too deep into the lie.

She remembered the card game she was playing with his father earlier that day and she said the first thing that came to her mind.

“People call me Ace” Annton repeated her fake name, raising his eyebrow, exceptic.

“What a weird name” He said, the truth behind his words obvious. He thought it was a hideous name.

“Yeah, I wasn’t exactly planned” she replied as casually as she could

Annton chuckled as he opened the door, leading her outside

“I have the feeling we’re going to get along just fine Ace”

She wasn’t as sure.


	2. ✘ Ace: Bloodsport ✘

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Inspiration Song : You’re gonna go far kid -The Offsprings

Even tho Annton didn’t lie when he took me to the abandoned house, he wasn’t completely honest.

Yes, it was true that the people who went to the fights as spectators placed bets on the fighters, but he failed to mention that the betters were nobles, from the high society, escorted by a few members of the Military Police and the Garrison. An enormous part of them even took their lovers along, girls way too young to be their wives, barely above 17 years old, wearing tight and colorful dresses, looking like they were about to assist to a big gala or something.

Eventually there was the middle class man in the crowd too, but The Basement was majority concurred by some of the most wealthy people inside the walls. Hypocrites that assisted with the sole purpose of satiating their thirst for depravation and violence . The basement was a place where everything was permitted, a law free zone where one could take the decency mask off, and just succumb to their most primal state of violence.

It was pretty obvious to anyone with more than two brain cells that the Basement wasn’t a proper place for a thirteen-year-old girl. The first time I stepped a foot in the dark room I almost peed my pants. Everything from my posture to my shaking hands screamed that I didn’t belong there, but the firm grip of Annton’s hand on my wrist impeded me to leave. I don’t even remember the wrestlers’s names, too focused on the stench circulating in the humid air to care about what was going on inside the circle. With thirteen years I didn’t recognize the smell, but at nineteen and with six years of experienced i was an expert pinpointing the metallic smell of blood mixed with the sweet touch of ale.

Men with expensive looking suits and their escorts filled the subterranean floor, their clothing contrasting with the dirt floors and the blackened walls because of the torches smoke, that gave what little ilummitation they could in the chamber. The spectators crowded around a white circle that was painted on the floor, elbowing one another to get to the front row, where the most sadistic hoped to get sprayed by the loser’s blood. Up and against the walls there were a few rows of bleachers, reserved to those who could afford it, they were a sign of wealth and status.

My first fight took place two weeks after Annton showed me the basement for the first time. When we were there they settled the date. One soldier from the military police had found another brat my age to face down. Apparently when two kids fought, it was a special treat, The basement hosting the double amount of people it usually would.

The last Saturday of September got earlier than expected. I had used my time to fiscally prepare, running laps and lifting heavy things I found around the house, doing sit-ups and pushups and all the exercises you could imagine. I hanged a pillowcase filled with heavy stuff to make it contendent and used it to practice my punches, trying to dodge the bag when it came back full force towards my nose. Keyword being ‘try’.

I tried to mimic the progression of hits my father had taught me in front of the mirror in the living room. My movements were sloppy, and my technic was nonexistent. There was no chance in hell I would win the fight. The fear was consuming me. If I came home with a black eye or a few teeth missing my father would notice just how fucked up i was, if I made it home after, Annton was prone to throw my sorry and beaten ass inside a prison cell as soon as i were conscious again. But the other option wasn’t good either, If I won the fight it implied beating another kid unconscious, another boy in the same predicament i was in.

An hour after my father left to the wall to keep guard i sneaked through the door, an old black cape that Mrs. Argón had given it to me a last winter draped around my shoulders, protecting me from the chilling wind. Annton had instructed me to take some spare clothes to fight with in a bag, so i packed the most basic things i had, a white tank top and some old black cotton pants that had a few holes on the lower end, so i ended up cutting them up at the knee.I also packed a pair of handwraps, the more injury’s i could avoid the better, that way it was easier to keep the fights a secret from dad.

The streets were silent and a layer of frost was forming in the windows I passed by. I would be lying if I said I didn’t have another way out. Annton was extorting me with prison time, but realistically I could run away and he would never find me, he didn’t have my address or my actual name, if I disappear it was game over.

Then why was I on my way to the lion’s den willingly? The idea of finally being able to stop begging on the streets for food was appealing. If I won I would get paid, besides for once in my life I was having the control over something, it didn’t matter that it could potentially get my nose rearranged. The fear was undeniable, it was there, lurking in the back on the back of my mind, but at thirteen years old I could be tempted by the idea of a better life.

At the end of the street, almost in front of Wall Rose I could distinguish Annton’s figure, leaning against a cart attached to two horses. The diver’s back was facing me, him not paying attention to us at all. The sound of my foots steps alerted Annton, who lifted his gaze from the ground and smiled at me.

“I thought you had backed down in the last minute.” He joked, I didn’t answer, the silence stretching between us. “Anyway, get in, it’s a long ride, the guards on the door knows about the event, so there’s no need to worry”

Without emitting a word I got in, Annton following right after. The sudden jerk of the cart because of the horses starting to run made me fall face first onto the wood planks. Heat crawled up my neck as Annton bursted out laughing. if the driver had reacted the same way, I would head dived out of the cart.

I got up and Annton grabbed me by the arm, trying to stabilize me.

“Thanks” I scoffed once I could finally sit on one of the apple crates that functioned as stools.

“You’re welcome kid” He said, looking at the narrow street we were traveling, leaving wall Rose behind.

The road seemed remotely familiar, the only other time I transited it I almost fainted from the panic, so i couldn’t recall much, a few buildings were familiar, but come on, every building was a copy of the one next to it.

The ride was lengthy, grazing the two hours of travel. Half of the time I spend it snoozing off, the constant rocking of the cart lulling me. Every now and then a rock on the wheel would shock me awake. Resigning my slumber, knowing full well I would not rest, i opted for talking to Annton. I could barely make out his face in the darkness, the moon nowhere to be found, only a few stars illuminating us.

“Annton...” I started, a grumble from him told me he was paying attention, so i continued “Who am I going against?”

Curiosity was one of my flaws. Ever since the date was settled I couldn’t stop imagining the fight.

“From what I’ve been told, you’re going against a kid from the underground city. “Annton turned to me " I think they found him fighting for food down there, the guard offered him money if he assisted the fight, and I heard there’s even the citizenship on the table.”

His words took the air out of my lungs. That kid had it ten times worse than me. A sudden wave of guilt hit me. Annton noticed my change of demeanour and he let out an exhausted sigh, rubbing his forehead.

“Why did I even opened my mouth…” The muttered words left his mouth" Listen kid, I choose you because I thought you were desperate enough, you are a decent fighter, you could handle yourself against a man almost the double of your age.” He said matter-of-factly. “If you feel even a little of remorse for that kid, he will break your nose. You two are not enemies, but he will not hesitate. He wouldn’t mind killing you if it meant he could take off from that shithole. Do you want to die? " I shook my head, stunned by his logic " Good, then you must fight. If you don’t fight you don’t win, and if you don’t win you won’t survive ¿Understood?

“What if I lose? " I asked, my voice low, almost imperceptible. Everything had been an awful idea. The whole “doing something for myself and taking the reins of my life” thing was going south.

“It all depends on how you loose. If it’s for you not trying, then I’ll find out the coward you really are and I’ll throw you in a cell to rot myself.” The harshness of his words slapped me across the face. “ However, if you lose from lack of experience, you’ll do better next time, and you’ll keep fighting until you can pay you debt.”

I nodded, understanding his words.

“I trust on you Ace, there’s a reason I chose you… Don’t let me down”

His words did something in my interior. Maybe it was because it was the first time someone had said anything like that to me. No one had had faith in me before. My resolution to fight came back ten times stronger.

I could do it, I was going to give my all into this fight, no matter what.

The remaining of the trip we spend it on silence, only stopping twice to switch horses. Before I even knew we were right in front of Sina.

We both got down from the cart and he dismissed the driver, setting the meeting point for the way back. Once the sound of the hooves dissipated in the distance Annton walked up to the concrete wall. He looked up and whistled like a bird. My eyebrows went up. What an amazing dumb skill to have. Another identical whistling responded, and an elevator started to descend, I could distinguish another person on it.

Once it got to the floor, a woman got out of it and throw herself into Annton’s arms, smashing their lips together. I could feel a blush invading my face, I wasn't used to those kinds of affection, and the level of intimacy they shared made me really uncomfortable. I adverted my eyes, trying to give them some privacy.

Once they separated Annton called me over, I walked over to them and he gestured towards the girl with his arm.

“Ace this is Hale, my… Friend” I couldn’t stop my sceptic look. Friends didn’t kiss that way from my understanding. Apparently she agreed with me because she slapped the back of his head, annoyed.

“Charming as ever Ann.” Her frown dissolved into a smile when her eyes found my own. “Oh god! You’re so pretty!” Her big blue eyes shone with enthusiasm. She grabbed my hand, leading me to the wooden lift. “Try to keep your face intact tonight. Let’s go”

With a pull on my arm, she got me inside. Annton following behind and closing the door.

“So… how’s Wall Rose doing Ann” Hale Aked, her black hair slapping me in the face because of the wind. I took her in, the patch on her jacket displaying a green unicorn. Military Police.

“Meh, same as always. There’s nothing interesting” Annton placed his arm around my shoulders, pulling me close to him. “My last two weeks consisted on waiting for Ace’s first match” The excitement on his voice sounded authentic.

“First match? Oh honey, you must be so nervous.” One of her hands patted the top of my head “Don’t worry, we won’t leave you on your own. I’ll even bet on your favor.”

That didn’t help at all.

They kept talking and I shut them off. Once we were on the top of the wall another guy received us, greeting Annton with a friendly hug. He looked me up and down.

“So… this is the renowned Ace huh?” He said with a deep voice. “She’s smaller than what I pictured. How old are you, girl?”

“I’m thirteen…” I said, Annton looking at me with a shocked expression.

“Shit Ace! Why didn’t you said anything!? You’re still a kid, i woul’ve thought twife before offering the deal.” Since when was he considerate " I thouth you were at least fifteen.”

“Dean is fifteen” Said the other guy " Though luck Ann, seems like you made a poor decision” He chuckled, palming Annton’s back.

Annton rubbed his face with his hands a few times and he sent a confident smile my way .

" As if. Ace is going to kick his ass. Right, kid?” I didn’t answer, this asshole was sending me to my doom.

“That’s Enogh Ivo. Don’t try scare her. Cant you see she’s already nervous? " Hale intervined, tying to defend me.

Ivo got down to my level. He was big, enormous, around 6’2. His hand found a place in the top of my head, petting it as if I was a dog. With him in that position I could appreciate his features. His green eyes studying me with the same intensity as I was. He couldn't be older than nineteen, his face was young, without a beard or wrinkles, only smooth and healthy looking skin.

" I’m sorry kid, I know you will be just fine” He pissed me off. He was underestimating me, and with a reason, but still, it was annoying.

I slapped his hand away.

“Thanks.” I said dryly. Annton and Hale laughing at Ivo’s flabbergasted expression.

“Huh… she’s got an attitude, I like it. She’s definitely going to be okay.” He said, getting up. He turned to the couple. “I wouldn’t be too worried about her.”

The four of us descended to the other side of the wall. I limited myself to observing them. Anyone could see they got along just fine, as they were comfortable with each other, joking around and pushing one another. A longing feeling made its way into my chest. I never had the chance to make friends, with my father often away and my constant begging on the street’s there wasn’t much time left to socialize.

Hale turned my way and smiled at me. Almost on instinct I smiled back, and hers grew bigger. She was young too, around the same age as Ivo. The doubt on how these three soldiers ended up on the illegal world of The Basement was eating me away, but i tried to ignore it.

As I was walking down the streets of the wealthy town I realize just how much of an outcast I was. The children with lucky enogh to have been born inside wall Sina would never have to go through what I had. The exasperating need, and the dependence on other people’s goodwill to survive.

Annton was guiding the group, leading the way in the dark as if he knew it like the back of his hand. We made it to the entrance of a tunnel and without missing a beat he got in, descending the steps.

A long and dark hallway stretched out in front of us, seemingly going on forever. We made our way in silence, the only sound was the tapping of our footsteps on the stone floor.

“This tunnel connects with the ones leading to the underground city. “ Hale’s voice broke the quiet " The basement is right in the middle. You’ll know when we get there” Her hand found my shoulder in the dark and she squeezed it, comforting me.

Hale was right. After fifteen minutes i could hear the commotion. Lug voices and laughs, people stomping their feet in sync, almost like a heartbeat.

“Seems like they already started” Said Annton, quickening his pace.

“Come on Honey, you need to get ready. We better hurry” Hale took my hand and made me follow her lead, mi shorter legs trying to keep up.

I could see a few feet away the light of a torch slicing through the darkness. As we got closer, the fuss grew louder. 

Once we got there I noticed a hole in the wall, almost as if someone knocked the tunnel wall with a hammer. Next to the jagged edges of the entrance there were two metal rings that supported the torches.

Annton got inside, with Ivo following behind him with a spring in his steps.

I hesitated for a moment. Hale clenched my hand, giving me a little of security.

“Be careful, there’s a step.” She said, smiling at me.” Don’t worry Ace, I’ll be right behind you.”

I took a deep breath in and I felt around with my foot until I found the step she mentioned. A few steps in and a heavy curtain stopped me in my tracks, the deep red colour out of tune with the gray of the walls. A man was in front of it.

“Hey Mick” Greeted Hale

He nodded in acknowledgement.

“Who’s the brat?” He asked, a thick finger pointing at me. “Spectator or Youngblood?”

“This is Ace.” She said. It only took my fake name for him to let us trough, stepping away from the opening on the curtains. I looked perplexed at her and she just winked an eye at me. I thanked the wardrobe of a man, and he nodded once again. A man of few words it seemed. " The perks of being a competitor”

“How did he knew my name?” It was the first time I saw the man. The first time i assisted we entered trough another set of tunnels on the other side of the city, the ones the nobles used.

“Annton putted you on the list, the guards memorize the names to make sure no one who shouldnt be here get’s in, otherwise the business could be ruined.” Hale had to raise her voice above the cheering of the swarm of nobles. 

The place was packed, everyone crowded around the circle where two girls were sparring. A knot formed in my stomach with only watching them, and I tear my gaze from them quickly. Swallowing was hard, the nerves getting the best of me. Hale noticed my anxiety, and taking my hand she dragged me to a less transited area.

“Let’s go to the backrooms so you can get ready. Okay?” She didn’t wait for my anser and she dragged me straight to the opposite end of the place.

The backrooms where only a few small compartments with the same heavy fabric as the entrance separating them from the rest of The Basement. I touched the curtains with the tip of my finger, and my eyes opened like saucers. It was velvet. Someone had to sell their kidneys to afford them. Velvet was expensive as hell, a luxury only a few could pay for.

Throwing my embarrassment out of the window, I took the fabric to my face, petting my cheek with the soft material. It was almost like touching a cloud. My pillow back at home seemed filled with nails in comparison.

Hale noticed my amazement and giggled.

“Those were donated by Lord Reiss. He comes around quite often” She said ”You better get changed, there are only two fights left before yours, and for what I could tell, this one is about to end.” As soon as the word left her lips, the sound of a gong filled the air, which I supposed it meant the end of the match.

Once I was in my comfortable clothes, I took the handwraps and tried to wrap my joints, but they came undone each time I tried. The injuries on my knuckles had healed, a fresh layer of slightly pink skin covering them. The scars would stay there for sure, but oh well, what could you do?

When she saw me struggling with the wraps Hale took them from my hands and proceeded to do it herself. Her fingers worked expertly on my hands, tightening the fabric just the right amount, trying not to constrict the blood flow too much. When she finished with both of my hands, she gave me a friendly squeeze.

“Your hands are freezing.” Hale stated, rubbing my fingers i between her hands, trying to warm them up. “It must be the nerves”

I nodded.

“You know you can talk to me if you want to, right?” Her eyes were gentle.

“Yes, it’s just that I’m a little anxious, I don’t want Annton to regret his decision” I expressed my fear out loud for the first time. Hale’s grip on my hands tightened up.

“I know it seems like Annton is only getting advantage from you. But ever since he found you he wouldn’t shut up about how excited he was for your fight“ She said. “I don’t want you to think I’m only defending him because we’re together. But Annton knows what is like to live on the streets, and when he saw you I think you reminded him of his past. It’s not my story to tell, but by bringing you here he is, on his own twisted way, trying to help you. If you win you get paid, and that’s better than not knowing when you’re going to eat tomorrow or not.”

Shit. So Annton wasn’t only interested in the money. A new flame of determination ignited in my chest. I was not only going to win for myself, i would do it for Annton and his younger self too. I didn’t understand how a young and beautiful girl could be interested in someone much older than her.

“Come here, let me braid your hair, if it’s loose like that someone could grab it, and trust me, it’s not a nice feeling.” Her hands digged into my hair, braiding it with an amazing level of skill.

I couldn't hold back my curiosity any longer.

“Hale, How old are you guys?… Isn’t Annton a little too old,” I asked. “Not like there’s anything wrong with that… it’s just that i found it a little odd… not that it’s odd.” I was just rambling, too embarrassed to think straight.

She bursted out laughing. The shame intensified.

“You’re funny, Ace.” She said, finishing the braid, letting it fall over my shoulder, a simple ribbon holding it together. The intricate pattern that she twisted the hairlocks in brought a smile to my lips.

I had never learnt how to braid my hair. With a decease mother and living with a grown up man who barely knew how to wash his own socks I never had the chance to. 

I turned to face her, and she had moved to the wall, leaning against it, watching me, amused from my previous nonsense.

“Annton is twenty-one” My eyes opened with surprise, damn he was rough on the edges. Hale laughed at my expression. “I know what you’re thinking, but try not to mention it, he’s sensitive about his looks. Ivo and I both are twenty years old. The three of us had been together since we joined the military, and we’re as close as we were back then.” I nodded in understanding.

Hale opened her mouth, about to sai something only to be interrupted by the gong.

The fear rushed through my body, chilling my core. It was my turn, the time had come. I was supposed to go out there and beat some other kid, and I thought I was ready, but my feet were nailed to the ground for some reason. I was unable to move.

Hale’s arm circled me.

“Hey Ace, don’t worry. Annton Ivo and I are going to be on the crowd, and if things get ugly, Hitch will stop the fight.” She shook me a little, almost like she was trying to get the anxiety out of my body, and snapped me out of my trance. “You’re going to do just fine. And if not then it’s all right, you get up and you try again. If you don’t fight, you can’t win.”

Her last sentence brought me back to my conversation with Annton in the cart, and the deep desire to make him proud gave me the strength I needed.

I felt like I could understand Annton a little better he wasn’t mean only for the sake of it, it was his way of helping me out. He was projecting his younger self on me, he wanted to be for me the person he needed so desperately and didn’t have.

With a leveling breath I stepped out of the backroom. I wasn’t sure of what i had to do, but Hale didn’t leave my side. Holding my hand, she pushed her way through the sea of bodies, until we reached the front row, almost inside the circle. In the middle of it there was a man with the Military Police uniform on.

His presence was imposing. Standing taller than Ivo, around the six foot five inches, he smiled at the roaring crows, mischief shining in his eyes. He took his hands to his face and shouted.

“Are you ready!?” The response from the mob was deafening.

Shoulders collided with mine, making me lose my balance. My eyes searched the rows of heads. Right in front of us Ivo and Annton were making their way trough, pushing and insulting the guards that tried to resist them. Once his eyes found us, Annton Smiles at me and nodded one time, Ivo on the other hand screamed my name at the top of his lungs, clapping along.

A chuckle slipped trough my lips. For once in my life I had someone cheering for me, instead of pitying me. A warm feeling made its way through my chest. I was not about to spoil the start of something good. 

The guard on the circle opened his mouth once more

“I said… Are you ready!?” This time my cheers joined the rest, my hands up in the air. 

The warm laugh of Hale resonated by my side, and my eyes were on the other two dorks, my smile widening when I saw them laugh too.

“Tonight we have a little treat for all of you.” The crowd went wild again, and Hitch tried to calm them down with a finger on his lips, his other hand signaling them to quiet down.” I know, I know. You must be wondering Hitch? What are you talking about? " The smile on his voice was obvious " We have two youngbloods in here tonight, and they’re going to fight for the first time in The Basement” If I thought the spectators were nuts before now they reached a new level, jumping around, and pushing one another. y eyes went to the bleachers, where a few nobles were nodding their heads, leaning forward with interest.

“Is Dean anywhere around?” Hitch asked.

From the far end of the crowd a figure was coming trough as the people kept screaming. He shoved Ivo and Ann away with his hands and he got into the circle.

Dean was fifteen, but he could easily pass by as a thirteen year old. I knew about the rumors of the habitants of the underground city. Because of the lack of sunlight they didn’t grow that much, Dean was barely half an inch taller than me, his body build almost the same as mine, the only thing that told us apart was his eyes. There was no doubt on them, he had his eyes on the prize ad he was going for it.

The people chanted his name as Hitched grabbed him by the wrist and parade him around the circle. When he passed by me he winked an eye at me and he sent a crooked smile my way.

“Oh honey, I think he is underestimating you, so you better go out there and kick his butt.” Hale shook my shoulders.

A fraction of my stress dissipated with her light tone.

“Alright alright.” Hitch returned to the middle, Dean right behind him. “Is Ace in here with us tonight?”

When i heard my name i didn’t even had the chance to react, Hale’s hand shoving me forward, almost making me fall face first. I thought I heard a ‘Sorry’ from her, but I couldn’t be sure, the roaring crowd drowning her voice.

Hitch repeated the same process of circling me around, some people clapped and cheered me on, others looked at me from head to toe, their eyes screaming what their mouth didn't. They thought I was going to be crushed by Dean.

When I passed by them Ann and Ivo extended their hands, and I gave them a high-five.

Once we were done Hitch placed me in front of Dean. His green eyes analyzed me, sizing me up. The thought of how many times had he found himself in the same position, jus about to fight in the crime-ridden underground city? His black hair fell on his forehead, a few loose curls brushing his brow. I trailed down my eyes and i noticed his shirt was nowhere to be found, I tried not to let it affect me, but i couldn’t help my lingering gaze on the pale skin of his chest. Dean noticed it and he smiled brighter, a set of dimples on his face.

“You like what you see Girl?” He asked, getting inside my personal space, his voice barely above a whisper, only for me to hear. Hitched grabbed his face with a hand and pushed him away.

“Leave the teasing for later Boy” Hitched laughed “Rules are simple kids. No biting, unless you want to sweetheart” he winked “No low blows, no spitting, and leave the claws for another occasion. The fight stops when one of you can't keep up or gives up. Fists up, and clash them.” He took a few steps back.

Dean’s wrapped up hands collided with mines with a little more force than necessary. it was his way of intimidating me. And it was working.

Without another word, Hitch signaled the start of the match with a gesture of his hand.

I raised my guard up as Dean got closer to me, the nerves bubbling up in my tummy. Three blows made their way to my face, but I avoided them, messily and with no technique whatsoever, but they hadn't strike my head, so i was satisfied.

People’s screams were loud, spitting loose words like “Come on” And “Hit him” into the air.

I tried to throw a punch to Dean’s face, but he took my arm and swiped my feet from under me. My back collided with the ground and my spine reverberated from the impact. He lifted his fist and directed it to my head, trying to knock me out, but I rolled away and jumped to my feet. The crowd was roaring his name and he took a step back, spreading his arms, as saying ‘What are you waiting for?’

“Come on cutie, we don’t have all night.” he said, his guard up once again.

I din’t respond, too busy searching for an opening. With two steps he was infront of me, winging a punch to my face, i dodge it, but the moment i did his hands grabbed me by the soulders, and he brought his knee up, smashing it against my abdomen, the pain exploded. I thought he woul let me go after one punch, but he kept going. i needed to get him off of me and fast.

I resisted on last knee and when he retreated his leg to throw another i traped his elbow against his chest, linking my free arm around his other arm i twisted my hips and bended my legs, sending him to the floor with a heavy thud. Ivo’s cheer made it’s way to my ears, but i didn’t have much time to rejoice on my little victory.

My stomach was aching from the blows and i could feel a bruise forming. Dean got up and started to throw one fist after the other, all to my head. I waked back, trying to avoid them, until the hands from the spentators stopped me.

“Don’t go out of the circle, sweetheart. First warning.” Hitch’s voice sounded, but I barely registered what he said.

A fist punished my cheek and I felt the skin tearing, the warm and slow trickle of my blood going down the side of my face. It was going to hurt in the morning, but at the moment the adrenaline rush subdued the pain.

His merciless blows came fast and steady. I would like to say I dodge them all, but I would be lying.

Dean was repetitive and predictable, so taking my chance when he retracted his fist I took a step forward, going under his arms and flooring him.

Once we both were on the floor, I immobilized him with my weight and threw punches at his face. A few of them impacted, but the big majority didn’t get through, his arms covering his head. I made the mistake of letting my arms too far away from my face, and Dean shot his arm up, hitting me straight in the chin. I fell sideways, and the taste of blood was in my mouth.

Shaking my head I got up and lifted my arms, covering my bruised face, Dean rushed to me and threw a right hook, trying to hit my temple, but I blocked it with my elbow, grabbing the back of my neck. The impulse of his blow made him end up in my personal space, so I smashed my opposite elbow straight into his nose. The crunch raised the hairs on the back of my neck, and the blood started to gush out.

Screaming with pain Dean grabbed his face, and at the moment he took a step back I kicked him in the middle of his chest, sending him on his back to the floor, his head hitting hard against the floor, disorienting him. With a conviction I didn’t know I had I threw my body into his, my hips holding him still, and as if he was the same drunken bastard from the alleyway, my fists unloaded all of my weight into his face.

The whines of pain that came out of his mouth made my heart coil with guilt, but it was a fight, we both had agreed to it and he had no problem on beating me senseless. I closed my eyes and kept going, waiting for Hitch to put a stop to the fight, Dean wasn’t even defending himself anymore.

A heavy hand on my shoulder halted my movements. The gong sounded and the screaming from the crowd erupted.

Once I was on my feet Hitch grabbed my wrist and lifted my arm in signal of victory, a dull ache traveling through my limb.

The spectators got into the circle surrounding me. Congratulations and praises were said by unknown faces, the shiny jewelry on their necks blinding me slightly. Slaps on my back and shoulders were delivered my way as well as a few jars with ale. I felt lost, Hale and the others were nowhere to be found. With a shot stature I felt like I was drowning, the high from the fight retreating, causing the pulsating pain on my face and torso to surface.

Out of the blue a pair of hands grabbed me from under my arms, lifting me up in the air, and putting me down on someone’s shoulders. When I looked down, I recognized Ivo’s dark hair. From my new perspective I founded Hale and Ann out of the crowd.

With a few long strides Ivo made his way to them, leaving the exited mob behind.

Annton had an arm around Hale’s waist, and a smile on his face. Hale was the first to speak.

“Ace! You listened to me and kicked his butt!” She clapped, like a little girl high on sugar “I told you it would be fine” 

“Thank you” I said, still on Ivo’s shoulders, he was not putting me down.

He patted my calf, calling my attention.

“Now let’s go get the prize!” He exclaimed, rubbing his hands together, almost tasting the money.

Before the giant i was on could turn around Annton called me.

“Hey Ace!” My eyes took in his gentle expression " Nice work you did…You’re gonna go far Kid”

I smiled at him, grateful. Ivo turned around, taking me to the women who recollected the bets.


	3. ✘Ace: Who Knew?✘

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Inspiration Song: Who knew- P!nk

Six years had passed since my first fight.  
I had got used to walking through the gloomy streets, founding comfort in the night's quiet. Once I got inside the basement, I would miss it. Even hours after, once I was back in bed, trying to rest my aching body I could still feel the ruckus of the spectators.  
I had to meet up with Annton at Rose's gate, per usual. It still was a mystery to me why he kept leaving notes under my front door, giving me instructions, as if I didn't knew the drift.   
During the last six years, every first and last Saturday of the month Annton and I both traveled to the inside of Wall Sina, as spectators, or as a fighter, going against whoever was on my way, collecting the prize money. It wasn't like I was undefeated, but I was a solid fighter, winning a lot more of fights than the ones I had lost, and it fascinated Annton.  
In the time i had spent taking part into The Basement's secret world, Annton Hale, Ivo and I got fairly close, to the point where they came to visit on their days off, claiming that they had nothing better to do, but I knew they just liked to spend time with me, even if we had a significant age gap between us.   
After four victories I was able to pay Annton the debt, but even though I was free to leave The Basement, I found myself wishing to go back and stand in the circle one more time. I couldn't deny I was a good wrestler, and I loved the adrenaline rush that cursed through my body each time my guard went up. Now I could understand why the guys were part of it. It was illegal, and the nobles that assisted were a bunch of pigs with an insatiable thirst for blood. The staff was kind and fun to be around with, and the fighters were friends with each other. It was almost like a home, and we were a family. Some of us had a reputation behind them and some of us were a mystery, like myself, but we all took advantage of a negative aspect of the society, trying to get a better way of living. We shared laughs, and we just wanted to have a little fun.  
My father never stopped working, and his routine stayed the same throughout the years, and that made things easy for me. I was still the perfect golden child into his eyes. He was convinced the extra money came from a part-time job I took in the marketplace, helping a tailor.  
I knew how to saw in the same way a horse knew how to waltz.  
Still in my thoughts, I made it to the cart where Annton was waiting for me as always.  
"Took your time kid" He said, straightening up his posture. He engulfed me in a hug, greeting me " Come on, get in. I have a surprise for you"  
"Hey Jimmy, I greeted the driver. Stepping into one of the wooden and got into the same old cart. It was the same as always. The only difference was a little box in the middle of the floor.  
I sat into the apple crates and we started to move. The wind was wild that night, but a black hood I had on protected me from it. With stiff fingers I left my bag on the floor and grabbed the small box. It wasn't heavy, and a beautiful red paper was wrapped around it, a simple black cord holding it close.   
"What's this?" I was intrigued. Annton shrugged.  
"It's from the three of us. Six years today brat." A slight smile appeared on his lips " How we bore with you this long without kicking your butt, I don't know"  
"Like you could, none of you could throw me one single time." I remarked, reminding him how the three of them insisted on play fighting with me.  
"We let you win, Ace." Annton Flexed his arms "Look at this deadly weapons, if I get one of these around your neck you're dead"  
I bursted out laughing. Annton lowered his arms and stared at me.  
"Do you remember the first time you fought?" He said, his voice soft. "You almost fainted on the circle… I'll never forget how you looked when the gong sounded."  
" Like a champion?" I joked, winking at him.  
"No, about to throw up." He chuckled. I was really tempted to throw something at him, but there was nothing on hand. " But seriously Ace, I never met anyone who belonged more into the circle like you do. It's your place in the world… you look happy when you fight. You're free in there, and yes, you were frightened the first few times, but the potential was always there " He finished, his eyes focused on the stars above us.   
"Come on, don't start crying on me, or I will cry too." I said, only half joking, the tears prickling my eyes.  
"Just open the goddamn box."  
Careful, trying to keep the paper intact, I unwrapped the package. When I opened it and saw the content, my throat closed up. I was speechless.  
Hale, Annton and Ivo had matching rings since they graduated from the academy. It was a sign of friendship that went beyond time and the division the choosed, the ring was a promise to be together on spirit even though the distance. Or at least that's what Hale told me when I asked.   
My eyes were burning, and I tried so hard not to cry. I let out a shaky breath and took my very own ring. I examined it in the moonlight, letting it reflect into the small stone resting on the intricate metal.  
"You were already a part of the family, but this was missing." Careful not to fall, Annton moved to sit by my side.  
"Thank you" I said, my mind devoid of other words. The only thing I knew was that a sense of belonging rushed over me. They were the few persons, besides my dad, that i had spent time with, and knowing they appreciated me in the same way as I did settled down the insecurities I didn't know I had until then.  
Once the ring was on my finger a single teardrop fell. I'm Sure Annton saw it, but he didn't mention it. He circled me with his arm and pulled me close. I rested my head on his shoulder. Neither of us said a thing.  
Sometime in the night I had drifted off in a dreamless slumber, because Annton shook me awake to get down off the cart. I waved Jimmy goodbye and made my way over to the wall, meanwhile Annton settle the meeting point for the way back.  
I rested my weight on the wall, trying not to fall over because of the sleep numbing my senses. I leaned my head back, observing the top of the wall and I whistled, just like Ivo had taught me a few years back. His response was immediate and Hale descended on the lift.  
No matter how many years went by, she was still the same, not even an expression line on her features. The lift barely had made it to the floor when Hale threw herself into my arms, hugging me close.  
"Ace! I missed you so much" Her loud voice made my ear hurt, but I was happy to see her too.  
I circled her with my arms and held her close for a while  
"All right Ace, let me hug my girlfriend please." Annton's arm pulled me away, and he took my place. He swooped Hale off of her feet, kissing her hard. I smiled, and looked up, straight at Ivo's head, that was leaning over the wall's edge.  
"Hey Ivo! Can you lift me up and leave the two love birds behind?!" I asked, shouting so he could hear me from the distance. His thumb went up in the air, letting me know that he agreed with me. Hale and Ann separated enough to speak, still holding each other.  
"Hold Up… Did you give her the gift?" She asked, looking at me with an excited grin on her face. I played dumb.  
"Gift? what gift?" I asked, as Hale send an angry look towards Annton  
"What!? You didn't do it? We agreed you would do it on the way here!" Annton opened his mouth, trying to defend himself, but he couldn't emit one single word, Hale's fast tongue shutting out his voice. You could barely understand her annoyed rant.  
"Oh, wait… Do you mean this one?" I lifted my hand in the air, displaying the ring. I laughed when she stopped mid-word, Annton sighing with relief.  
"Did you liked it?" She asked, insecurity flashing behind her eyes. " We weren't sure if it was good enough, I know you can afford like a thousand of this with the money you make on the circle and i don't know… I guess… Never mind." Annton grasped her shoulder, trying to comfort her, but I spoke before he could begin.  
"The ring itself it's not important… "Her expression fell even more " only thing I care about is what it means. In the last six years you guys gifted me your friendship and support, and I need nothing else to be happy." I hugged them both as if my life depended on it. " I adore you, guys."  
"What about me!?" Ivo's outraged scream  
scream came from above.  
"Of course i adore you too, you big baby!" I replied, the laugh lightening up my voice.  
I pretended not to see Hale's tears as I turned around, trying to hide my own.  
"Alright, enough with the sappy things, we're going to be late, and we have another surprise for you on this sixth anniversary." Said Annton, dissipating the emotive mood.  
The three of us got into the lift. Once I was up the wall I jumped into Ivo's arms, he caught me without effort.   
Once the four of us were together, I lowered my gaze to our hands, observing how the four identical rings shone in the moonlight. And right there in that moment, on top of Sina, with those three law breakers soldiers I felt like home.  
The way to the basement was the same as ever, with the typical dumb jokes from Ivo, Annton trying to hide the amused smile lifting his mouth, and the warmth of Hale's laugh .  
When we got there, I greeted Mick and opened the curtains, the guys right behind me.  
The room was packed, as usual, and the heat from the bodies pressed against each other was annoying. But I wouldn't change a thing about it.  
The four of us walked to my cubicle, and we stayed there, doing nothing. My fight was almost the last one for the night, so we had a lot of time to spend.   
Annton and Hale collapsed on the couch I bought specially for the cubicle, while Ivo and i jus sat at the old worn chairs.  
One hour passed by, and we just talked about nonsense, enjoying our time together until I remembered Annton's second surprise.  
"Hey Ann, What's the second surprise?" My shyness had gone away, but my curiosity was intact, no matter how much I had mature.  
"Oh, right!" Ivo straighten up on the chair.  
"For the good old times and because this is a special day. We accomplished two things…" Hale said, pausing dramatically, building up the expectation.  
"The first thing is that we convinced Dean to go against you today" My eyes went wide when Ivo's words registered. Dean rarely took part in the fights, and he never agreed to go against me again. It was a special occasion for sure.  
"And the best part is, Lord Reiss is coming tonight, and he is interested in being your sponsor. What do you think? Pretty good right? You can kiss the second hand furniture goodbye." If I was surprised by Dean's agreement, I had to pinch myself to make sure I wasn't dreaming with the last surprise.  
When a Lord sponsored you, it meant that he would pay for every single one of your expenses, food, clothes, housing, whatever you wanted to buy, as long as you train to compete and win the fights. The nobles got back their investment with the money they betted on you.  
"Finally! My efforts are being recognized!" I shouted, leaning my head back. The guys laughed. “The first thing I'm going to do is take the three of you to the most expensive tavern inside Sina, What do you guys say?"  
They laughed harder, and I was happy.  
The gong sounded, and it meant it was my turn to fight.  
Groaning, I got up from the chair, trying to crack my back, with no results. I gave Ivo puppy eyes, silently begging him. He hugged me from behind and pressed, lifting me from the ground. A satisfying series of pops relieving the stiffness in my spine.  
Hitch was already presenting the contestants, Dean by his side.  
"…And she need no introduction! For the sixth year in a row today, give a warm welcome to Ace!" The crowd exploded, shouting as i went through it, a confident smile on my face. I looked around me as i passed by, and my eyes found Lord Reiss on the stands, his hat casting a shadow on his eyes. When he noticed my stare the corner of his mouth went up.  
I turned my attention to Dean and damn, he had grown up. We were no longer on the same height, now he had a few inches on me, not a lot, but still, I had to tilt my head back a little to look at his eyes. His hair was the same as always, just like his missing shirt. But shit, when my eyes traveled down his body, his chiseled abs igniting a spark of desire in my lower stomach. Puberty did him good. With twenty-one years he was in good shape, with a cute face and a powerful jaw, a shadow of stubble on his cheeks.  
"You like what you see girl?" He asked as he noticed my lingering gaze. I smiled at him, trying to hide the blush that was creeping up my neck.  
"Not in particular. I was trying to see if you had the mark from the time I broke your nose" His smile faded and the crowd went wild with my comment, the "ooh's" they let out made me laugh.  
"Buuuurn!" Ivo's voice got to me from somewhere in the multitude.  
Winking at Dean, I extended my arms to collied fist and Hitched started the fight.  
Dean had gotten better, but he still relayed on strength alone, so with a few submission holds and locks, and two good punches to the face, he was on the floor.  
Hitched lifted my arm and per usual bodies surrounded me.  
With one last glance at Deans dizzy state I made my way to the girl that had my money.   
She smiled at me as she handed me the bag of money. I thanked her and turned around, about to search for the guys, but a board chest blocked my way, the logo of the military police on my eye level. Next to the officer was another man, looking rather bored, his eyes on the circle. I opened my mouth to ask them to move when someone talked.  
"Wonderful fight, miss Ace" A man's voice complimented me, the guard took a step to the side and right in front of me was the renowned Lord Reiss.  
"Thank you so much, Lord Reiss. I'm glad I could fulfill your expectations, " Maybe if i sweetened his ear he would give me some extra money on the sponsorship.  
"If you allow me, I would like to have a few words with you in private. Do you mind going to your backroom?" I Hesitated. An uneasy feeling clenched my gut. My backroom was a sanctuary to me, only Hale, Ivo and Ann were welcome there. Impatience flashed in his eyes, so i tried not to overthink it. With a tight smile, I gestured for them to follow me.  
“Of course This way, please. " I walked ahead of them, Lord Reiss and his guards following behind.  
As I walked to the back of the room, my eyes searched for Annton, or Ivo, or Hale, or anybody. Call me paranoid, but the whole situation was making me uncomfortable.  
My eyes Found Annton's from across the room, pleadingly. He understood immediately and made his way over, only to be intercepted by Mick and Hitch. They said something to him, and the severity of his expression told me it was important. With a hand gesture he asked me to wait for a bit, I nodded discreetly and kept walking as if nothing was wrong.  
I hold the curtain open, letting Lord Reiss trough, waiting for his guards to do the same, but they turned around and stood by the entrance.  
"I know it looks a little… excessive, but the times I've been attacked out of nowhere would surprise you." His voice was gentle, but it did nothing to soothe my nerves.  
He took a sit on my couch and signaled me to do the same. Clenching my teeth, I tried to stay polite and sat on the farthest end, putting as much distance between us as I could.  
"All right, I know you must be wondering what i want." He said, subtly getting closer. "I have a deal for you, miss Ace"  
His piercing blue eyes traveled my body up and down. Leaning a little closer, he continued. Annton was nowhere to be found, and I wasn't sure I liked this situation.  
"What do you think of a sponsorship?" Reiss stretched his hand, getting a grip on the tip of my braid, taking it to his eye level, index finger stroking it lightly.  
"I would be honoured, and I'm glad you enjoy my fighting style" I lied through my teeth, trying to hide the wave of nausea that washed over me.  
"Yes, truth be told, i find your style… exciting." He said, i ignore the innuendo in his words, playing dumb. " Observe you on the circle is one of my favorite activities." Lord Reiss got even closer, invading my personal space. My body went rigid as he threw his arms on the back of the couch, his skin brushing my neck in the process..  
This man was creeping me out. Shit, he liked them young if he was trying to hook up with me. His face was getting closer to mine and I couldn't stand it anymore. In a second i was on my feet, getting away from him, trying to get my message across. I was not interested in that kind of business. He wasn't fazed, and he smiled, entertained by my behaviour.  
"As I was saying, I will cover all of your expenses on the condition that you will be fully engaged on your training and fighting career. Also, I might need your assistance with other things." My eyes went wide, and something shined on his. " If one of my guys gets sick or something of that nature I might need your help as a bodyguard." Lord Reiss got up from the couch and walked towards me.  
"That would be exceptional Lord Reiss. But please understand that I'm not familiarized with the whole sponsorship proce…" The words died on my lips when he caged me against the wall. My heart was beating in my ears, and the panic was screaming at me, demanding that I ran away, searching for Ivo. My eyes shifted to the curtains, and I noticed the shadows of the two bodyguards blocking the exit.  
"Allow me to show then" Reiss moth tried to catch mine, but I dodge him, going under his arms. His forehead collided against the wall.  
"I think you should leave, sir. I really appreciate the offer, but I'm afraid I can't accept your conditions." I took a step back, pointing at the door. My chest felt tight because of the nerves. Flashes of the drunk man in the alley invaded me. But i was no longer a little girl, I would let no one try to take advantage of me. I fidgeted with my ring, waiting for him to go out the door, but when he passed by he grabbed my forearm, and he started dragging me to the couch. He was short, but he didn't lack strength.  
"You better let me go, I already said I'm not interested in anything you have to offer" I struggled against his hold. I didn't want to fight him. He was one of the nobles who donated a lot of money to The Basement. If I did, I could damage the others.  
"Nonsense" He refused to let me go, my breathing was getting more and more shallow with every passing second, and the room was getting smaller. I tried to pull my arm away, but his grip was strong.  
Grabbing his wrist, I twisted his arm behind his back, pushing him against the wall. A pained whimper came out of him.  
"I'm really sorry Lord Reiss, but you wouldn't listen." I was about to let him go when he shouted.  
"Kenny!" The guards came inside like two trained dogs.  
"Oh my, what do we have here? You better let him go, brat." Kenny got closer, i recognized his face vaguely, he was often on the crowd. He was a grown up man, a small beard covered his chin, and a broad-brimmed hat covered his hair.  
Kenny and the other military police came closer. I let go Lord Reiss's arm and took a few steps back, lifting my arms in a truce sign.  
"I don't want problems. I ask you to leave." My eyes trained on the guards, and then on Reiss.  
He nodded to Kenny, holding his wrist with a grimace that was in between anger and pain. Kenny nodded back, and with an inhuman speed grabbed my arms, keeping me still. The other guard went to the door, keeping watch.  
"Ya' better stay put, little runt." I tried to wiggle my way out, but i wasn't getting far.  
Reiss's hand found my face, and I tried to move away from him, a dirty feeling lingering where he touched me. He caressed my cheek before slapping it hard. The impact swung my face to the side, the stinging feeling letting me know I was going to have his hand imprinted on me.  
"Now you'll do as I say, I'm done being nice." He said to me, his cold blue stare piercing my soul, chilling me to the core. There was nothing behind his eyes. They were empty. "Kenny, to the couch"  
The old man's body pushed me forward, but I digged my heels, trying to avoid it at all costs. I tried to break free, attempting to throw Kenny off, but almost as if he had read my mind he grabbed my braid, pulling my head back violently. The pain shot through my scalp, and a groan came out of my mouth.  
I couldn't think straight. I was struggling to get out of Kenny's hold, twisting and turning as he dragged me to the couch, where Reiss was unbuttoning his dress shirt. Bile crawled up my throat, my eyes filling with tears.  
I was supposed to be able to fight for myself, to defend on my own. But this three bastards changed the rules, tilting the scale in their favor.  
My foot found the edge of the couch, and i pushed away from it, desperate to avoid being thrown in there. Kenny tussling against me, I would not make it easy for them. Impatient Lord Reiss took my ankle, trying to speed up the process. When I felt his fingers on me, I lifted my other foot and I kicked his forehead, a small cut opening on it. He collapsed on the couch, disoriented.   
Kenny threw me to the side, kicking my stomach once I was on the floor. Towering over my curled up body, he spitted on me as I fought, trying to get the air into my lungs.  
"I don't understand why you Runts have to make it so difficult." He got down, arm outstretch to grab me by the hair once again, but before he could close his fist on it a body collided against him.  
Rolling to my side, I saw the unconscious Military police, sprawled on the floor. With a lot of difficulty I sat up, grabbing my side, trying to soothe the pain.  
Annton stormed into the room, trying to protect me. Fist were flying everywhere, Kenny trying to dodge, but Annton's blows affected none the less. With an annoyed 'Tch' Kenny reached into his pocket.  
Time seemed to slow down. Annton retreated to strike again, but a knife was in Kenny's hand out of nowhere. My blood ran cold, Annton's surprised expression forever printed on my mind. His eyes wide and mouth open as the cold metal pierced his torso. Almost as if he ran out of strength, Annton fell on a pile to the floor.  
I'm not sure what happened next. But with a shattered heart, I got up. Kenny's back was to me, and I took us both down, circling him with my arms. I didn't care anymore. The knife flew out of his hand, I barely registered the sound of it.  
My hands found Kenny's face, my naked knuckles aching with the hit. In a heartbeat i started beating him, one after the other my hands found something to strike, trying to erase the last hour, trying to fix the mess. The pain that soon turned to rage blinded me. I didn't even notice the tears running down my face. Something broke inside of me the moment Annton fell to the ground.  
Kenny's weak laugh made its way into my ears, and the rage multiplied. He turned his face to the side, spitting a tooth out, and as his gaze found mine. I saw the amusement in his eyes and my movements halted for a second. On a rampage I got up, and furiously I kicked him across the face. The momentum from the blow turned his body sideways. I lifted my leg, about to repeat it, but Annton's weak voice called my name.  
"Ace…" I ran and threw my body on the floor next to him. There was so much blood. I picked him up carefully, cradling him in my arms.  
A sob escaped my mouth, and tremors shook my body. Annton looked at me with a tender smile. My tears were free falling, dampening his shirt.  
"Please tell Hale…" He paused, a wince appearing on his face  
"Shh, don't try to talk… I'll get some help. There's got to be a doctor somewhere around, just please, please don't close your eyes." I tried to get up, but he grabbed my hand.  
Shaking his head no, a cough convulsed his body, blood spilling out of his mouth. The motherfucker knew how to aim, Kenny had pierced one of his lungs. The reality fell on me, weighting on my shoulders. The impotence squeezing my gut.  
"There's no time, be realistic Ace…" I interrupted him  
"(Y/n)… My name is (Y/N)" My voice broke at the end, the guilt hit me straight in the chest. I had never given him my actual name.  
"(Y/n)… I like it." His little smile broke me even more. "Tell Hale that she was my dream." With effort he lifted his hand, trying to wipe my tears away, his own blood sticky and warm on my skin. I held his hand against my cheek.  
"I will, but hang on. Just don't close your eyes, everything is going to be fine. Ivo and Hale are on their way, I'm sure." I looked at the door, measuring the effort I had to do to take him out. I didn't lack strength, but a sudden movement would only make his state worse.  
"HALE! IVO!" The scream tearing my throat apart.  
"Shh, it's okay" he said, with a calmness that unsettled me "It's going to be fine, you will be fine" His grip on my hand was faltering, and I could only watch as the death slowly claimed him. There was nothing left to do, and we both knew it. "Just promise me this. Please (Y/n), don't stop fighting, and I don't mean only in the basement, fight every day. For me."  
I nodded.  
"I will, I promise. But you're making it sound like a goodbye! Don't be like that. " I let out a broken laugh, trying to deny the truth. " Ivo is almost here… IVO!" Ann shook his head. "Fuck!" I cursed. It wasn't fair. It was never fair.  
Ivo and Hale came running in the room but stopped dead on their tracks at the sight of the both of us, me with an agonizing Annton in my arms, sitting on a pool of blood.  
Hale was the first to react, hurrying over and throwing herself next to us, grabbing Annton's body in her arms. Her hands went to his face, tenderly caressing him.  
"Hello gorgeous"… Said Ann. " Ivo. I'm really sorry you have to see me like this, I hoped that only Ace saw me like this, but hey, nothing ever goes the way we want." He tried to laugh, but another coughing fit rocked his body, a wheezing sound came out of him, his lungs were holding on, trying to resist.  
"What the fuck happened?" Ivo sat by me.  
"Lord Reiss… Kenny the ripper," Annton couldn't finish.  
When he said their names I remember about how I left him, but when a turned around, searching for them they were gone, the only proof that they were ever there was Kenny tooth on the stone floor.  
"Shit. Those cowards ran away like rats!" I cursed.  
"Guys… you're my family, and I love the three of you dearly… I'm sorry that I didn't say it often" Annton's sad smile finished me, the life abandoning his eyes. We didn't have the chance to say how much we loved him back.  
A broken sigh left Ivo's body and Hale's broken howl shook the ground. Getting up, Ivo took's Annton's limp body and went out the door, while I just stayed on my knees, wailing like a newborn. Everything was fine a few hours ago, we were happy, and alive. And now i was broken, Annton was dead and I whished I was too. I lost one of the most important people in my life.  
"Hale, we need to go. The Military will be here in any minute." The determination in Ivo's voice was surprising, specially as he held his friend's dead body, tears rolling down his cheeks.  
Hale came out of her catatonic state, rubbing harshly her face, Annton's blood staining her pale skin. She pulled herself together, her eyes sharp and alert. I couldn’t imitate her. I was sobbing on the floor, shaking like a leaf.  
"For fuck's sake Ace!" She grabbed me by the shoulders, pulling me to my feet." We just lost Annton, and if we stay here, someone else is going to die, and it's most likely you, so put on your big girl's pants and snap out of it. We'll be able to mourn Ann when all of this is over." Se said, the sadness in her eyes brought me back to focus.  
She pushed me to the door, and we exited my backroom.  
The chaos had consumed everything.  
All the nobles were at the door, desperately trying to leave, and a few of the torches had fallen to the ground, setting a few of the expensive curtains on fire. The smoke turning the air thick and impossible to breath  
"What's going on!?" I asked, too stunned to move, my entire world had fell to ashes in front of my eyes.  
"Someone ratted us out, the military forces are on their way. If we don't get out of here, we'll be executed." Said Hale "So move! There's a tunnel behind one of the bleachers"  
The three of us hurried through the room. The temperature had spiked up, the air burning my lungs with every inhale. There was an opening on the door, barely wide enough for Ivo to fit with Ann in his arms. He went first, me following behind while Hale pulled the Bleacher against the wall, trying to cover our steps.  
The tunnel was pitch black, and it went on and on. Without a source of light the three of us moved in complete silence, except for the occasional heartbreaking sobs.  
"Ace… What happened?" Hale asked, trying to mask the tremble in her voice.  
"Lord Reiss tried to took advantage of me, and i tried to defend myself, but Kenny…" I paused trying to swallow the knot in my throat. " Ann came in when I was on the floor, and he fought Kenny… But he took out a knife…" My voice broke "It's not fair! Everything was supposed to be fine! We should be drinking Ale and joking around! We were supposed to stay together… That's why we have these rings… if only I…" I couldn't hold it back anymore. My feelings poured out, and almost like a faucet, the tears fell.  
I was sad, angry, afraid. Hale was going to hate, because of me Ann was dead. I knew I would hate myself in her position. And it was okay, I hated myself too, I should've been smarter.  
"Let me tell you something, Ace…" Ivo started.  
"(Y/n)." I interrupted. "My name is (Y/n), I'm sorry i never told you guys."  
"(Y/n)… I like it" Hale's words the same as Annton's. I cried harder.  
"Annton knew what he was doing when he got involved. He was even more afraid for you than he was for himself. He died protecting someone he loved, someone who was a part of his family. Don't blame yourself, the only one responsible for his lost is Lod Reiss and that criminal he has as a guard dog, and I'm not staying with my arms crossed.   
"But…" I started but paused because of the tears.  
“(Y/n)" I flinched. Her voice was harsh. "We live in a cruel world, constantly hunted down by monsters. And I'm not only referring to the titans outside. Sometimes the monsters look just like us," Her voice was a little calmer, but the crying was obvious. " A man took the love of my life away, and the only thing I can do now is live on and remember him… No matter how much i wish i was dead too. I can't, he wouldn't be happy about it." Her voice came out strangled at the end of the sentence.  
After that we walked in silence. One hour later the path divided in two roads.  
"Take (Y/n) out of here, I'll protect Ann. We'll meet up later." Said Ivo.  
I circled him with my arms, squeezing him and Ann close to me. I let them go and Hale immediately took my place. I heard a kissing sound, and I knew she was saying goodbye.  
"Stay safe, we'll meet up on top." I heard his steps fading in the distance, taking the left road.  
Hale and I went right, completely blind.  
I cleared my throat and spoke.  
"Hale… Annton asked me to say something to you. "My tears had stopped, but the pain on my chest only grew with very passing second, I was about to explode. " He said 'Tell Hale that She was my dream', I'm sorry I'm saying it now, but I thought it was priv…" Her shuddering inhale halted my words.  
"Goddamn it Annton! Did you really waited for your death bed to admit it!?" Her sobs raised the hairs on my arm.  
"How did it end up like this?…" I thought out loud.  
"The world is a hostile place (Y/n), one can only be strong for those who left too soon… I want you to have this, i'm sure he woul've agreed with me" She left something cold on my hand. I immediatley recognized the shape of Annton's ring. i clenches my fist around it and place it abvobe my heart , the tears came back, and diddn't left for hours.  
When we finnaly made it out of the tunnels the sun was already out, it's light blinding us.   
I was completely lost, the tunnel had a lot of twists and turns, maiking it impossible to track.  
"Where are we…?" I asked, my throath hoarse because of the tears.  
"On the outsides of Wall Rose. We better rest for a bit." Hale looked around  
The zone where we emeged was devoid of pepole, a few houses surrounding us, but they seemed abbandonded. Looking at them reminded me of the day i me Annton, and my heat ached.  
We went inside of one, sitting on the floor. We catched our breath for a few minutes, and she got up.  
"I'm going to get some water, I know a few of the guards around this part. Stay here and wait for me." She left, closing the door behind her.  
The morning's pale light came inside throw the window, the dust in the air shimmering because of it, i looked at my hand, where the two identical rings rested. I was broken.  
Annton was one of the few i loved, besides my parents, and he was gone, because of me.  
It was the first death i experienced, my mother's happened when i was too young to undestand. But this time i was awae of the ceranity of it, and knowing he was not coming back hurted like a bitch. The guilt churned on my chest, i shoul've killed Kenny when i had the chance. Now he was free, running around with Lord Reiss doing wh knew what.  
I wondered where was Ivo, and how was he holding up, what did he do with annton's body? More than friends they were brothers.  
More than half an hour went by whe Hale runned inside the house, her eyes wild and pale as a ghost. I got up and grabbed her shoulders. Her wide and frightened eyes looked at me, the tears threatening to spill out.  
Hale closed her eyelids tightly , opening her mouth.  
"They blame you for Annton's death" She said " The garrison and the Military Police are searching for you"  
I fell to the floor.


	4. ✘ Ace: The Mighty Fall. ✘

Once I recovered from the initial shock, I could think straight.

Without waiting around, and with the money I earned in the last fight, Hale and I rented a cart to go back to my house. Forty minutes later, the driver left us at my door. Without a second glance he grabbed the money and left in a hurry, the dust rising behind him.

Hale's eyes were swollen and red from an interminable night of crying and judging by the throb behind my own I was in the same condition. Hurrying, I opened the door to my small house, and I let her go in, locking behind us. Hale's eyes traveled across the room, stopping at the table where my dad had left a shoe, as if it was the most casual thing in the world. The corner of her lips lifted a little bit as she sat in front of it.

"Dad?" I called, silence responding me. He had already left for his shift at the wall. "Hale, we're alone, you can start explaining if you're ready"

She nodded, shifting her eyes to her hands, frowning.

"The officers said that during the raid, a noble which I assume was Lord Reiss, came to them stating that a dark figure came out of the tunnel and tried to rob him, but he made it out thanks to the sacrifice of a valorous Garrison soldier who saved him. The mysterious girl stabbed him and flight the scene." She wiped her eyes. " In his deathbed the Guard said he recognized the girl as one fugitive of the basement they were raiding, and that Lord Reiss should get help..." Her fists were clenched. 

I would have thought after twelve hours of straight crying there would be no tears left in my body, but turns out humans are surprising.

A headache that began to spread earlier now pounded heavily on my temples. Walking to the kitchen I filled a glass with water, finishing it in two gulps, hopefully it would help. I filled one for Hale and left it in front of her.

"(Y/n)... That fucker was able to turn the story in his favor... " She reached for the glass, sipping it. " Ivo had to lie and agree with him, the police that was surrounding the area found him with Ann's body... They were going to hang him up if he contradicted Reiss..." Her voice came out strained. "If we come out with the truth, it's our word against his... He's got money, and the influence... Judging by how he accused you like that he wants your head on a stick." Her lids drifted shut, looking as defeated as I felt.

My soul sank to my feet. I was so dead, but that wasn't the problem. The thing that hurt the most was the fact that they blamed me for my friend's death, while the actual killers were laughing in my face. I already blamed myself enough, and the injustice of everything left a bitter taste in my throat.

I flopped on the couch, lost in thought, reviving the Annton's last moments. The tears wetted my cheeks once again and I covered my eyes with my arm, leaning my head back, waiting for something to show this was only a dream, an awful nightmare. But the throbbing on my knuckles let me know it wasn't the case, that Annton was gone, I beat up Kenny, and that Lord Reiss stated a hunt for my head. 

"It's not the end..."Hale muttered, catching my attention. Did Ann's passing finally broke her mental strength? Her capability to stay in control of her emotions in the hell we were living amazed me. " They are searching for Ace after all..." I uncovered my eyes and looked at her, her gaze focused on my own. She seemed to think out loud.

"Yes Hale, I'm aware they are searching for me..." That detail was clear enough.

"No... I'll (y/n)." Her eyes were bright, realization clear on them. "No one on the basement knows your actual name, they only know your nickname... No one has a portrait of you. The only solid clue is a description that fucker gave of you..." She got up from the chair, clapping her hands, making me jump a little in my seat."You can still survive this... I couldn't protect Ann. But like hell I'll let those motherfuckers take you away too." The determination in her voice made my heart ache. The only one to blame for Ann's passing was myself... But if this gave her some sort of distraction from all the grief, so be it.

What she was saying made sense, but her plan was unclear. I could practically see the wheels turning in her brain.

"So what's your plane Hale?" I asked.

"Join the Military" I choked on my spit. A coughing fit later I managed to look at her wide eye. Now I was sure she blamed me for Ann's death as much as I did. "Don' look at me as if I'd lost my mind and think about it."

"Hale, there's no place inside these walls where I won't cross path with a garrison or a military police eventually. And if there's money involved, they won't think twice before handing me to Reiss in a silver platter. And you want to speed up the process by sending me to the lion's den?" I asked, trying to hide de waver of my voice.

"Just listen to me." The intensity of her eyes made me halt. She was serious about this plan of hers. "Not all the soldiers took part on the basement, not even a five percent of the garrison knew about it before last night. And they are the only ones that knows how you look like, the others depend on a description provided by someone else." She said. " No one knows '(Y/n)', and Ace doesn't exist. You can sign in using your real name and papers, and nobody would notice. The branch of the military that's in charge of the training barely interacts with the rest, and I'm sure no officers from it are involved with the basement. The plan is perfect," Her face fell suddenly "well... almost perfect"

"What do you mean? " I asked. The plan made sense, and I let myself feel a little ray of hope.

"If you join the forces, you can't go into the military police like me or to the garrison like Ivo for obvious reasons... " her face held a severity that was out of character in her. "Your only option is the Survey Corps. Someone there owes me a favor... I could ask him or help ."

"So... what you're saying is that my options are; either die a horrible death because of Reiss, or Die a horrible death because of a titan?" The little ray of hope extinguished.

"You wouldn't die necessarily... You train for three years to be prepared to face the titans, you learn to maneuver on the ODM gear and the technique to slice them with the blades...." She said " You're strong, and you have fast reflexes Ace, you'll be just fine." Te seriousness was clear on her voice, as if she wanted to imprint her next words into my brain. "(Y/n), you need to fight in order to survive, and joining the corps is your best chance."

When the word Fight left her lips, my mind wandered to Annton's words, his last request for me. I looked at my hand, where his ring stayed since last night, and I caressed it tenderly. My gut constricted, and I nodded looking at her, my decision plastered all over my face.

"I'll do it" Her eyes softened with relief 

"I'm proud of you (Y/n)" She said, sighing. "I need to settle everything with my friend in the corps then, and I also need to meet with Ivo to plan the lie about our whereabouts last night, we also need to take care of Ann's..." She said, a flash of pain behind her eyes.

An ugly sensation of dread filled my body when I thought about Hale leaving me alone, but as she said to me on the cubicle, It was time for me to put on my big girl's pants. With shaky fingers I took a loose hair strand from my braid and placed it behind my ear, wincing when my battered knuckles brushed my cheek, a shiver raising the hairs in my arm. That stung like a bitch.

Hale noticed and came to me. Careful not to touch my bruised hand too roughly, she examined it.

"What the hell happened to you?" She asked, horrified at the poor state of my torn skin.

"After Kenny..." I didn't dare to mention what happened again, a knot constricting my vocal cords. Hale nodded, letting me know she understood what I meant. "I just... Floored him and fucked his face up... I was so furious I was about to kill him... But Ann called my name."

"Kenny the ripper?" She asked, a little incredulous. " Ace, the man killed a hundred of military police, I don't even know what he is doing with Lord Reiss. The guy is a butcher, How did you even manage to get close enough to him." 

"If I knew, I would've grabbed the tooth I knocked out of his stinky mouth at the basement. Coul've been a good luck charm." Hale's warm laugh made its way to my ears, and it felt like a decade had passed since I last heard it.

"I know Ann is so proud of you wherever he is" She said, eyes trained on his ring, gently caressing it. "But enough crying for now, I'll have time to do it later." She said, but still sniffled, wiping her eyes, trying to avert the tears. "Let me clean your hands"

And I did, telling her where everything was I complied, being selfish, needing her care and gentleness to keep me from breaking down. With care she cleaned my wounds, blowing gently on them when the antiseptic burned. She finished wrapping them up as she did my hand wraps so many times in the basement and then she hugged me.

We stayed like that for a long time, both needing the comforting, and when she had to go the longing to keep the embrace was pulling at my heart, my hand twitching with the desire to reach out and beg her to stay.

Hale walked to the door, stopping with one foot out, turning to me.

"Wait until I come back to go outside. Once everything is settled, I'll come to help you out. And maybe you might want to talk to your dad about enlisting, if he can help you out with the ODM gear you'll have a head start. " She smiled sadly at me, the tears glistening in her waterline, threatening to spill. "Take care of yourself (Y/n), be careful and don't forget the three of us love you." She closed the door behind her back and didn't wait for an answer.

My heart ached and I broke down until dad came back and I had to pretend my heart was just fine and not the mess it was.

I surprised dad when I commented I was thinking to join the army just like him. I tried not to feel bad because of the proud expression he showed me, I wished he could be proud of me for something I chose freely, but that could never be the case, his daughter was a runaway, a criminal, an illegal wrestler accused of killing a man. I tried to pretend I could really make him proud, that it was indeed my choices that sparked the joy in his expression, as he congratulated me on my morals and values.

During the next three days I advocated myself to cleaning the house, keeping it spotless, organising the book we had by title, then by color, then for extension and then by title again. I even went ahead and organized the pantry by the same criteria. 

It was just an attempt to calm the anxiety that nibble my insides, making my nights long and sleepless, the dark and silent hours stirred my brain, the gruesome death of Ann chasing me, making the waterfalls in my eyes to cascade down until I passed out from exhaustion, holding Annton's ring tight to my chest. If I was I lucky enough I had two hours of dreamless slumber.

On the fourth day, my dad had a day off.

He woke me up only an hour after I drifted off, with the tea already made, the small white flowers that grew on the garden floating around in the cup. All morning was spent talking about his work, and laughing at his tales from the new recruits, fresh off from training. Until he asked me to be careful if I went out, because there was a killer girl running around as if nothing. A city runt that tried to rob a noble and respectable man and killed a brave guard in cold blood.

"I knew Annton" He said. My cup halted midway to my lips. "He was a good boy, he used to live with his mom around here. She died when he was around twelve. She was sick just like your mother. "His eyes were distant, remembering the old times when things were simpler " His father left his mother when he found out he was on his way. " I tried to remain nonchalant, which was really hard when the only thing I wanted to do was break down sobbing, a usual occurring in the last few days. "It's a shame... That Ace girl took an outstanding man from this world." I wanted to scream at the top of my lungs it was not me, but that filthy motherfucker and that heartless assassin were the ones who took his life away. I wanted to cry until I dried up, to hit the wall until the break apart, I wanted Annton back. But I remained in my chair, trying so hard not to react, not to show how broken my soul was.

The rest of the day went flying after that, and the night came back. Sobs rocked my body in the shelter of darkness once again. Annton's story showed me how ruthless the world could really be, how money and being born in with a powerful last name gave you the right to decide on other's people's life.

That night a kid skinny as a corpse and with Annton's eyes haunted my dreams, his lifeless gaze staring straight at me.

The fifth morning after Hale left was the same as usual. My eyes burned when I tried to open them, swollen and redden. 

After lunch dad left, kissing my cheek goodby and hugging me tight, almost as if he had an instinct, just knowing I needed it. It lasted a little too long to be a normal one, and I felt cold when he left. I resumed my routine, a weeping session as I punched the bag in the yard. I had bought it with the excuse it was for dad, but I used it more than him, training when he was on duty.

Each blow was stronger than the one preceding it, the violence behind them growing with every falling tear as I tried to get rid of all the rage and sadness within me, trying to consume me leaving nothing but ashes behind. 

I would end Lord Reiss when I had the chance, Kenny the ripper next on the list, at any cost. I owed it to Ann.

With one last hook to the bag I left a broken sigh out as I pressed my forehead against the cool leather, letting the tears run free. I wasn't sobbing, those were reserved for the night, when no one could hear them.

"I'm glad to see you're still in good shape." Hale's voice broke the sad spell I was on. 

I looked up and there she was, a smile on her lips, her uniform was clean and void of Ann's blood, and an ODM gear was strapped to her body, she must've gotten to my house on that. My lip trembled.

"Let's go inside..." I said, noticing how glad I was she was safe. I gave one step to the door.

"I was thinking we could walk to the market. It might do you some good, you've been inside for a long time. I can see how much you've paled from here. When was the last time you saw the sun, Kid?" She sounded like Annton, and she had a weak smile on. Hale had aged so much in just a few days. Tired lines and dark bags covered her face.

I changed quickly out of my sweat filled clothes, grabbing a green cape to hide my face just in case.

Hale was waiting for me at the door, and once it, she grabbed my hand, intertwining our fingers and we started to walk to Rose's gate, in our way to Shinganshina, hiding my face from the guards as we passed by. 

When we made it through, Hale spoke

"How are the knuckles" she asked, a casual tone in her voice, her thumb brushing the bandages.

"They're good. I keep opening a few of the cuts when i hit the bag thou, but they'll heal, eventually." One more scar on them wouldn't make a lot of difference. I looked at her from the corner of my eye. She was staring dead ahead. "How's Ivo?" I haven't seen him since we separated at the tunnels.

"He's a little better. We buried Annton in one of his favorite places after the Military police gave us his body back. They interrogated him, but he's an excellent liar, so he made it out in one piece. He always cheats when we play cards, in case you didn't notice." I hadn't, actually. I smiled, thankful he was safe.

"I'm glad." I whispered, my voice drowned by the murmur of the multitude. A few teens fere sitting around a font and sellers were screaming about their products. Everything kept going, while I felt like my life had ended less than a week ago. "And ab..."

"I got you something." She interrupted, "They called me to search the basement the day after I took you home. They had to wait until the smoke dissipated to go in," She reached in her pocket. " Since nobody had touched anything I could bring this back for you" She extended her opened palm, a golden chain in it, and Kenny's tooth was the charm on it. A laugh bubble out of me when I saw it.

She placed it around my neck.

"Don't worry, I washed the blood off" she winked, but I could see something bothering her.

"Thanks Hale" 

"(Y/n)... " Her was suddenly serious " The news traveled, almost everyone knows what happened, and who to look for. So unless there's a fucking Titan invasion every fucking soldier within this wall will hunt you down, and to make matters worse, this year's recruits already started their training, and they are not allowing extra ones until next year. " The stress was clear as she passed a hand trough her hair with exasperation. " Do you think you can hide that long? I already talked to my friend, and he said he would help, I might or might not have said you would be an amazing addition to the corps, so please try your best and don't make me look like a fool. " Her half hearted joke held some truth behind it. I could tell she was worried sick.

I stopped a few blocks into Shinganshina and rubbed my face harshly

"Fuck!" I exclaimed, the thing couldn't get worse.

"Come on Ace, leave the worry to me, everything will be fine. We're not going to leave you alone in this." Her eyes glistened in the warm sunset light.

"Yeah right, how do you plan to distract a whole fucking army?" I didn't want to be harsh to her, but she was way too hopeful, all things consider.

"We could..." Her voice got stuck on her throat when a clap of thunder shook the earth, blinding us momentarily 

Startled scrams sounded all around us as people exchanged confused looks. My eyes turned to the mighty wall, smoke rising behind her.

"What the fuck? A storm? There're no clouds in the sky..." Hale thought out loud, and a unsettling feeling fluttered in my stomach.

The ground shook beneath us, making everybody at the marked wobble, some falling to the floor, their groceries rolling away. An almost primal instinct tightened my chest. I felt like I was staring dead in the eyes of a predator. The hairs on my neck raised. Something was wrong. 

Exchanging a brief glance with Hale i knew she felt the same way. I could see her hand twitch, and feel a buzzing course through my legs, I wanted to flight from there as fast as I could, and I was about to suggest it when the unimaginable happened.

A head rose above the top of Maria. It was a fucking titan, and a huge one at that. He must've been at leas fifty meter high, if not more.

His face lacked skin, the muscles and teeths on full display. Pure, cold and gut wrenching terror filled me.

I felt the blood leave my face, and how my muscles locked up, eyes glued to the beast ahead. A few persons started to run, and a small part of my brain, the one still functioning, told me to imitate them and to run as fas as I could, but somehow I couldn't. Until a harsh and unforgiving wind sent me flying a few feet back. I landed hard on my back, the air knocked out of me. A few pieces of stone missed me by a fraction, and hell broke loose.

Hale was by my side in a few seconds later, as my brain tried to process what the fuck had happened. Connecting the dots, I realized the bastard kicked a hole in Maria. 

I was on my feet, and grabbing Hale's hand, I ran. A survival instinct I didn't know I had drove my body. I was convinced that if I stayed even one second longer, we would be a titan's snack, and I was not down for it.

We crossed the gate, but I couldn't stop running. They trespassed one, they might as well trespass two. Hale's hand was still in mine as we ran trough the stets, dodging people who just stood there waiting for a horrible death to claim them.

"Shit (Y/n)... You have fantastic luck or a fucking curse, it depends if you want to see the glass." How could she joke at a time like this?

What were the odds? A hysterical laugh bubbled up, and my legs burned, but i was not about to be eaten. 

Hale's sudden stop made almost made me fall on my ass, I turned around to urge her on, but I noticed she was grabbing the handlers of her OMD gear and was snatching a fresh pair of blades in it. With a gesture of her head she told me to go on her back.

"Try not to move too much, this thing depends on balance. We might fall." She warned me, before shooting a hook to the nearest building, propelling us forward. I'm sure I choked her from how hard I was squeezing her neck. The mechanism of the ODM Buzzing against my leg as the wind slapped me in the face.

We soared the air, towards my house.

"I need to go back to Rose and warn them. We need to get the evacuation protocol going, you go to the ships and you get on them right now okay?" I nodded, and she hugged me once, leaving right after. I could only watch as she disappeared, flying.

I tried to calm the erratic beating of my heart, I looked at the Maria's Gate, the imponent door separating Shinganshina from the rest of Maria, I was going to be just fine, besides when dad noticed the commotion he was going to come straight for me.

I waited for him outside, there was nothing important inside the house, Ann's ring and Kenny's tooth were on me. But in the last moment I remembered my papers inside. If I was evacuated for safety issues I might need them. Rushing inside I grabbed the stack of documents and I also grabbed my handwraps from the table. Those were my favorite.

I pulled my hood up and went outside, waiting for dad to appear in any moment.

I wasn't even outside for a minute, when another shudder broke the earth. Horrified I turned to the Gates, where a cloud of dust was dissipating. When it disappear I saw another titan, smaller than the one who breeched Shinganshina, but with something hard covering his body. Those two differed from the rest, the managed to break down our first defense, it was almost as if they had intelligence, the focus on their eyes. 

Titans swarmed Maria's territory, and a massacre begun. Unfortunate persons were devoured in front of my very eyes, blood staining the streets, limbs flying in the air. Whoever was in charge of collecting the death bodies would have a heavy load of work. I scolded myself when I noticed the grim humor in my words. I tried to think. What should I do? Wait for dad inside or go to the boats. The titans that got in were still pretty far away, it all depended on my dad and on how fast he could come. I shuffled on my feet, the adrenaline still coursing through my veins, my breathing was heavy and the fear was making me heart beat in my ears.

A titan turned a corner, and it saw me. It was huge, at least ten meters high. Ann's words ringed in my mind and I took off, trying to stay alive for as long as possible. And if I died, it wouldn't be for lack of effort.

The boats where across the town, I turned to the right, the thundering footsteps of the beast trailing behind me, closing the gap between with each passing second. I turned behind me and almost screamed in fear as I noticed it was only a few feet away, its empty eyes and a sinister smile sending shudders down my back. The shadow of the titan leaned over me, and I knew I was dead, it was about to grab me, and I could already feel the searing pain of its teeth sinking into my flesh. Tears poured without me noticing. 

I was ready to kiss the world goodbye and to join Ann in the afterlife, when the figure of a soldier flying in the air, too fast to recognize, disappeared behind the titan, the sound of blades cutting through flesh filling the air. 

The titan fell to the ground, shaking the floor beneath me, and I recognized my father standing tall on its neck. A cloud of steam raising from his clothes, the blood from the titan sizzling. Shit, he was in good shape, even tho he finished his training years ago he still got the fast reflexes and strength to go.

He got down from the lifeless steaming body and rushed to my side. Grabbing me by the shoulders he inspected my face, searching for any kind of injury. Hands cupped my cheeks and I gripped them tight with my own. He was alive and I was glad I was too.

Dad hugged me and I could almost feel the relief filling his body.

"Are you hurt anywhere?" He asked me. Not fiscally I thought but I shook my head. "We need to get you out of here, we lost Maria." With one last glance at the defeated wall, he grabbed my hand and ran.

Hand in hand we crossed the city. I thought he would use the ODM gear, but he settled for running. My dad was amazing. Sadly it skipped a generation.

I still had blisters on my feet because of the long night walking the tunnels, and this running session would not help. But I clenched my teeth and held on, better hurt feet and all my limbs still attached.

The boats were filled, and the line to get into them was immense, everyone crowding around the guards, trying desperately to get on them. The screams and cries of the kids rang in my ears, my heart aching as they called for their parents. I squeezed my dad's hand tighter, and he returned the gesture. The distant howls of pain and the insults to the guards raised in the air, and you could almost feel the collective fear on your skin, like an oily substance that stuck to your clothes. Some desperate enough people jumped, not worried about the possible fall to the canals. Hysteria had taken over Maria's population, and if the titans didn't kill us, we would kill each other, the persons in the front of the line were being pushed against the metal bars, the air squeezed out of their lungs.

I didn't want to get into one of those deathtraps, I'd rather run to Rose, but obviously dad was against it.

He looked at me, and his eyes were tearful. I didn't like that look in his eyes at all. I frowned, and he smiled sadly at me.

"(Y/N), I Love You so much... An I'm sorry, but I'm not risking you not going into that boat." Determination shone on my eyes, and I knew his resolve was as strong as steel. 

"What do you mean? " My voice trembled as I asked " You're getting in with me. How is that a bad thing?" I tried to smile, but my frown was deep.

He didn't answer and just shook his head. He grabbed me and as if I weighted nothing he put me over his shoulder.

"My duty is to protect the walls (Y/n)" His voice was steady" When all of this is over I'll go back for you, and we'll play cards like we do every morning, I'm going to give you advice for when you go to the army... I'm so proud of you, honey." His grip on my back tightened. "I will miss you so much, but wait for me. Okay?"

"Dad, don't do this... Please " My body was unmoving, the tears free falling at his feet, and I could only focus on the heels of his boots as he made his way through the crowd, pushing people aside. And just looking at his boots were better that acknolodging the searing pain on my chest, as if Ann's passing wasn't enough y dad was about to risk his life. "There's got to be another way... Please don't leave me...I love you please don't do it" I said trying to negotiate I refused to let him go just like that. "There must me something we can..." He shushed me.

"An I love you too, but it's my job. Understand, I swore to give my life for the sake of humanity if it ever came to that." His hands were shaking, and I tried to chase away the thought of him being afraid. It was something normal, but that meant I should've been terrified, dad was never scared. But the only thing that I had on my chest was a hole, filled with pain and grief, as if I was incapable of feeling anything else. "I'm sorry honey, i love you so much... And believe when I say I'm coming back for you"

I was going to answer, and plead some more, but suddenly I was no longer on his shoulder. An empty feeling filed my body before I landed on the wood from the boat's floor. I got up to try to see my dad in the crowd, but he was no longer there. The boat sailed away, tearing me apart from the place and streets I grew up, tearing me from one of the only people I love that was still alive... for now.

Angry with myself I pinched my arm, I was assuming he would die. My dad would survive and he was going to come back as a hero, saving the life of a thousand of humans, and destroying a thousand of titans, more titans than the whole Survey corps toghether. I had to believe it for my own sanity, or for what was left of it.

When we got to the refugee center I sat at a corner and just waited. The soldiers were coming back from Maria, one after the other, injured and with a broken spirit, witnessing horrible things, and traumatized for the rest of their lives. I prayed to whatever god there was for my father to be among those soldiers it didn't matter if he was missing a leg or arm, I just wanted him by my side.

The cold evening air was biting my fingers, and I tried to cover them with the pocket of my hood, that covered my face, feeling the unmistakable cold of metal against my skin. I pulled out my hand, and in the middle of my palm there it was.

My dad's engagement ring. 

Letting the golden band slide down my finger, the tears fell again. The hours passed, transforming into days, but there was no sign of him. God had laughed at my childish hopes.

My heart ached for my lost loved ones, and to add up on top of it, the amount of kids sleeping on the floor by themselves was devastating. We were all in the same boat, orphaned for the rest of our lives. The resources were low and Sina's infrastructure wouldn't stand for long. We would be seen as leeches instead of refugees, only sucking on their food and water.

No matter what age, kids to elders, all of us were hated and mistreated equally, the garrisons insulting us to dirt. A few of them were familiar, being in the basement's underground world.. The constant threat of being discovered kept my mind away from the grief. I couldn't even mourn Dad in peace.

I wasn't even sleeping anymore, tormented nightmares that portraited Kenny's laugh, Annton's at his feet as Lod Reiss's hands grabbed my clothes, or my dad's dismembered and broken body. So I had given up on resting. I barely had a nap here and there. My body functioning only for the sake of it. The food was sparse and not enough water made it to my mouth. 

We used old blankets as mattresses, trying to soften the stone floor where we slept, leaving our bodies vulnerable to the cold. It was only a matter of time before someone died of hypothermia.

A week had passed, and I haven't talked to anyone, staying at the sidelines, silently watching. 

The children were a heartwrecking sight. A lot of them barely knew how to walk, and they were all alone, the few unlucky ones old enough to understand the severity of everything had somber expressions all day.

Next to my improvised bed, two kids slept together every night. 

One night in particular, the temperature had dropped insanely low, and they were trembling in their sleep, the tears making their faces red and puffy, wet trails shining in the moonlight. The little girl's black hair got stuck to her cheeks, and I noticed her dirty and worn out red scarf. She gripped it tightly in her small fist, trying to hold on to whatever it represented to her. She reminded me of myself, as I had my own habit of stroking the rings in my left hand as I cried. The boy was immersed in a restless dream, twisting and turning, quiet whimpers slipping out of his parted open lips, tormented by whatever they had witnessed the day Maria fell.

Fuck it I thought.

Sighing, I untied my cape, slipping it out of my shoulders, covering their sleeping bodies. I glanced at the fabric laying on the ground. Sleep had left me a while ago, it wasn't like I would use the blanket. I picked it up and dust it off, placing it on top of my cape, building the layers, hoping it would be enough.

After a few minutes later the shudders that traveled their bodies disappeared and I smile appeared on my lips. I glanced at the boy, hopeful that his nightmares had stopped, but a pair of black eyes captured mine. Her intense glare paralyzing me, I felt like she caught me doing something wrong. The corners of her mouth lifted, and she went back to sleep.

I breathe out the air stuck in my lungs and I sat against the wall, tilting my head back, eyes on the ceiling. 

Those two kids couldn't be older than ten years old, and their life were destroyed, losing everything. I wondered if they had an adult that took care of them and what would happen with them if they didn't.

Could I do something else besides giving them a shitty blanket?

I shook off the idea as soon as it came, I had more urgent problems than taking care of two orphans, like hiding from Lord Reiss for example.


	5. ✘ Ace: Of Purpose and Promises ✘

The sun had barely risen when the ruffle of fabric alerted me.

As if it had become a routine for me I didn't get any sleep, settling for watching over the kids as they rested. It wasn't odd for someone from other sections to come in the middle of the night and steal stuff from lonely children. Startled by the tough of someone taking advantage of the two kids, I turned to them ready to pounce.

A pair of green eyes met my own. They were irritated and tired, but they were dry. I got a brief relief knowing the boy had a few decent hours of sleep. He was confused when he didn't feel the usual cold, looking down the boy noticed my cape and blanket, his eyes went to the girl next to him, who was still sleeping without issues, and then he looked at me.

"Um..." He started, ashamed of needing my help, and accepting it. His eyes went to the floor, avoiding my gaze.

"There's no need to say anything, kid." I said, before he could continue. " Accept others amiability when they offer, you will need them at times like this."

He smiled at me.

"Eren" He said. "My name is Eren"

"Then you better get some more sleep Eren, it's still pretty early" His eyes opened wide. " I'll make sure to wake you up before they give the rations today. I promise, " Was I too harsh? Why did Eren Looked like a kicked puppy? Maybe i had scared him. I tried to smile to lighten the tension.

"Thank you..." His gaze was cast down, I definitely was too harsh.

"(Y/N)." I introduced myself, and he perked up.

"Thank you (Y/N)" Eren laid back down and closed his eyes.

Fuck me me and my soft spot for kids. I couldn't be selfish with them, could I? Just ignoring them like everybody else did it would've been so much easier. But somehow, the cold biting my arms wasn't as bad as the feeling in my chest when I thought about Eren and the girl having to endure it.

As I watched the sun go up in the sky, I wondered if Annton had felt the same way towards me when he saw me in the alley. The tempting thought o just ignore the situation was there, peeking up, trying to tear a little of our humanity away, but Ann had been stronger than that and he lent me a helping hand on his own way. Ann gave me dignity, and treated me like a capable human being, he was a friend who gave me independence and a family, and I owed him my life.

When I saw those two kids suffering like I had, back in the day. I couldn't just stand aside and maybe that was going to be my way of remembering Ann, following his example, remembering what he did for me with everything I did for them.

The sun started to heat up the earth and a few persons had woken up and were walking around as I kept sitting there with my head down in case a guard passed by, my only way of hiding was covering Eren and the girl as they slept, so I had to improvise with nothing at all.

A blonde kid came to where we were. He seemed to be around Eren's age, and I wondered why he didn't spend the nights with them, and I realized he must have had someone taking care of him, and he spent the dark hours with them.

When he saw the two other kids sleeping, his blue eyes noticed me. Saying nothing, he sat beside me, bringing his knees to his chest, resting his chin on top of them. The silence that had settled between us was an uncomfortable one, at least for him. His shoulders were tense, and he sometimes stole glances at me. And if for whatever reason I moved a single muscle, he flinched startled. You could see he was shy a kilometer away.

The time passed like that, the both of us just waiting for the pair to wake up, or until it was time to go and search the rations of the day. The guards kept passing by really close to us and every time they I turned my chin down and covered my face, bringing the collar of my shirt up to my nose, leaving only my eyes visible. It was probably a little too much, they weren't even looking at me. The blond kid next to me noticed my strange behavior.

When the guards started to set up tables for handing the food, I decided it was time to wake them up. The kid's blue eyes opened wide when I reached for Eren's shoulder.

"Eren... Come on, it's time to wake up." I whispered, while I gently trying to shake him awake. "They're about to give the food." I didn't want to wake him up suddenly, for once in almost a week he was sleeping relatively okay.

A set of small finger curling around my wrist stopped my movements. Looking towards it, I noticed the girl had woken up. If looks could kill i would've been five feet underground. Five seconds into meeting her and I already could tell she was the one with the pants in the group, she reminded me a little bit of Hale.

I smiled and let go of Eren, but her grip remained on me.

"I'm glad you're awake. They're about to give the food out. Can you Wake Eren Up?" I asked. She stared at me for a few seconds until she nodded. Her frown disappearing into a neutral expression.

I got up from the floor and stretched my sore muscles, the long hours off being against a hard wall taking a toll on me. The blond kid got up and helped the girl wake up Eren, who apparently was a heavy sleeper. They took a couple of minutes until he opened his eyes, I turned to the windows and noticed the guards almost about to start, anxiety settling into my stomach.

Eren sat up and rubbed his eyes couple of times, trying to dissipate the sleepiness. Looking at the three of them made a warm feeling spread across my chest. They were cute, and they reminded me of Hale and Ivo. I tried to distract myself, otherwise the preoccupation for their wellbeing was going to drive me mad.

"I see you woke up kid," I said, smiling at him "God, you have a heavy sleep Eren." I joked. His cheeks turning red, cute.

"Sorry (Y/n), it's time to go to the line?" He asked getting up from the floor, my cape in his hands.

The other two kids stared at me, while Eren was trying to get rid of the wrinkles in my cape. Laughing, I stopped his attempts, extending my hand to grab it.

"It's fine Eren, the wrinkles are not the end of the world." He gave me the cape back and I placed it on my shoulders, tying it and pulling the hood up. It was still warm because of the kid's body heat and I smiled, comforted by the shade covering my face." They're about to start, so we should make the line"

Eren nodded, turning to the two kids who looked at him puzzled, specially the blond one.

"Armin, Mikasa. Are you ready?" He asked.

With one last hesitant look at me, the blond kid, who I assumed was Armin nodded, getting up too.

"My grandfather must be about to go too." It relieved me. I was right about Armin in fact having someone left in this mess.

"All right, I'll go ahead now." I said as I separated from the wall I was leaning on. "You can join me once you're ready if you want." Eren nodded, and I walked to the door

The crowd had gathered around the doors, and the smell of sweat infiltrated into my nose. It's had been a week since most of us had a bath, with no lakes or rivers close by to shower in, the water a valuable resource, and hygiene was not a priority at the moment. A lot of us still had the clothes from the day Maria fell, and I wondered how many of us had blood from our loved one's staining the fabrics.

A guard shouted, getting all of our attention, and ordering us to go into a neat line. People went crazy, pushing each other as the guards took out the rifles, trying to calm us down. I had managed to stay pretty close to the front, and it was certain I was getting food that day. As I was waiting for my turn to go up, I heard the kids light and fast footsteps.

The three of them made their way to the crowd, the disappointment shadowing their faces as they noticed the amount of people that were in front of them. Eres eyes searched the sea of bodies, trying to localize me. I whistled, catching his attention and waved at him, a smile brighten up his face as he grabbed the others two arm's and he trotted to Where I was. Taking a step backwards I left them a space in front of me, so they could go first.

And apparently the man in front of me didn't like that one bit.

He grabbed Mikasa by the arm as she was passing by, his thick sausage fingers wrapped around her thin arm, and she almost fell to the ground startled. I felt the anger boiling inside of me when I saw what was going on.

"Hey...!" Started Eren, but I lifted my arm and stepped in front of the two other kids, making sure they stayed safe behind me.

Mikasa tried to free herself from the man's grip, as he was shaking her, his face red as he cursed and spitted. I was about to end the man.

"Fucking kids. Who do you think you are eh? Skipping the line like that!" He lifted his hand, about to slap Mikasa, but before he could hit her I grabbed his wrist and squeezed.

"Is there a problem?" I asked, trying to use the most calm and neutral voice I could "Let go of her arm. Or I'll break your wrist" The man didn't move, his mouth snarling at me in disgust. There was a little of leftover crumbs on his beard and I tried to sooth the wave of nausea that hit me. He didn't move a muscle, challenging me, an arrogant look on his face. Mikasa's eyes went from one side to the other, trying to predict who would give in first. And like hell I would.

"Who do you...?" He started, but a groan of pain interrupted his complaint when I squeezed harder, he immediately let Mikasa go.

I was hopeful, thinking that it would be the end of it, but things were never simple in this world. Mikasa went to the other two, and I moved between the man and them. Contained rage shook his body, and he tried to hit me in the jaw, his fit shooting forwards. I leaned back and dodged it. If six years in the circle didn't taught me how to avoid a punch, I wouldn't have all of my teeth still attached. I could feel three pairs of eyes on the back on my neck. I turned around, making sure Mikasa was okay, and she smiled at me, in between Eren and Armin. Her eyes hardened when she looked at the man who assaulted her and I returned my attention to him.

I understood the stress and the tough times we were all going through, but that didn't give him the right to go around and trying to hit kids.

"So... I'll ignore that pathetic excuse of a punch. Just stop bothering us and apologize to her." An indignation look crossed his features, as if i was denigrating him with my request. It wasn't a big deal, i wasn't asking or his first born, a simple apology would do the trick.

"In your dreams. Those kids would've been better off if they had stayed in Shinganshina. They don't work and they're only eating all of our resources and valuable water. They're just a waste of..." The feeling of cartilage breaking under my fist felt so good that I considered doing it one more time, but I contained myself.

The wailings of the pitiful man I had in front of me attracted the attention of a few surrounding people, whose judging eyes were on me. I was glad I had my cape on. I looked behind me and notice a few guards looking at me. Sighing, I gave up on the idea of food, I had gained too much attention, and from my spot on the line I couldn't see who was handing the rations, if it was a guard that frequented the basement I was screwed, one quick look and I would be on my way to Lord's Reiss hands.

Frustrated by all, I grabbed the man by the collar of his shirt and brought him close to my face. The stench from his body slapped me in the face and i tried not to gag, attempting my best at sounding threatening. The smell of blood coming from his nose reminded me of the good old days fighting in the basement.

"Listen here you piece of shit... " I started accentuating the last word. " If a catch you bothering this kids again, I'll make sure you're unable to use your finger again." I let him go with a shove, and turned around, walking out of line, Two guards were coming my way. I grabbed Eren's shoulder, diverting his attention from the bloody nose, and pained groans from the man behind me. "Be careful and get your food, okay? If someone else tried to do anything to any of you, just scream my name and I'll come flying." I rushed away and I pulled my hood lower, eyes on the floor. Trying to disappear.

The guard's footsteps were following me, and I tried to play off my hurry. A nervous sweat coated my back. I had the dense crowd to my advantage. If I got in between them I was sure I could lose them. I turned to the left, ready to go in-between two mans who were having a conversation, but a hand on my shoulder stopped me before I could execute my plan .

My shoulders tensed under the heavy weight and I reluctantly turned around, trying not to cause a bigger scene, there was always the chance this man didn't know me. I looked up, and a relieved laugh almost bubbled up my chest. Ivo's serious expression meet mine, but his eyes were gentle. Trying not to smile I stared at him dead in the eyes, hoping to look defiant and rebellious, as we needed to keep the apparencies. One side of his smiled perked up almost imperceptibly, and as if nothing happened Ivo guided me inside the building.

"Come with me miss, we must discuss the occurrence" I didn't reply, and followed his heavy footsteps.

Looking back at the kids, who were almost at the front and their eyes were glued to me, I lifted my thumb, letting them know everything was fine.

Once we got away from the curious glances of the noisy crowd, I threw myself at Ivo, circling him with my arms, he lost his footing and we almost went face first to the ground but he regained his balance.

"I can recognize that right hook anywhere." He laughed, tightening our embrace even more "You do realize what you did was really stupid, right?" Letting me go, Ivo flicked my forehead with a finger. "But it's okay. Hale and I've been looking for you, everywhere. The distraction with Maria was convenient, but this city will not hold these amount of people." His tone was somber, " Don't tell anyone, but they're talking about launching an operation to retake wall Maria." His hands griped my shoulders, a seriousness in his face I'd only seen when Ann was killed. "It's a suicide mission Ace, don't you dare be in between those lines when they go. They're just trying to get rid of some part of the population to decompress the inner walls." My disdain for the government raised. "And they are also still looking for you..." It seemed like Ivo could only give terrible news. As if he had noticed my sour attitude he hurried to try to make it better. " Dont worry tho, they told us to keep our eyes open for a girl with your description. Thankfully we have things more urgent than a killer teenager, like killer titans for example... But just in case keep a low profile." He stared at me for a few seconds and then hugged me tight once more. It seemed like he was afraid I would disappear at any moment. "I love you kid, so try not to die... I got to go or they'll suspect. Hale asked me to say she loves you too."

"And I love both of you." I got away from his arms. " And you better survive until I graduate, so you can give me your farewell as I go to my certain death in the surveys." I joked, kind of.

"Oh man, I wish you could join my branch, it would've been fun. We do nothing all day. Or we used to, nowadays it's a bit more busy." I could imagine, after all they needed to be alert now, the titans could try to breech Rose at any moment. I was concerned about him, and I hoped that if it ever happened, he would be far away from the mess. "I'll keep a close eye on you. Not on a creepy way, just making sure you're safe. I'll come for you to take you to the training camp." I nodded. Ivo reached in his pocket and took out a package, the brown paper wrapping what looked like a brick. "Hey, don't give it the stink eye, this is what you'll eat in the field. I know you have a soft spot for those three kids, but don't be dumb and make sure to keep your strength up."

Ivo handed me the food and turned to go, throwing a "Be careful" over his shoulder, leaving without waiting for my answer.

Left alone, I pondered on just how fucked I was. Even in the crisis humanity was going through, that fucking bastard was after my ass. And I wasn't even surprised about the mission they would launch. It was the easiest way out of the possible starvation Rose's population was going to go through. It was just a matter of time before we started to claw each other's eyes out for a cracker. Not even a month had passed, and we were already freaking out about the food.

I walked to where I slept and opened the package. Inside there was a biscuit that looked like it could sink a dead body. Sighing, I leaned against the wall and started munching on it. Surprisingly, It didn't taste as bad as it looked. I adjusted the hood over my face and slide down the wall, sitting on the floor.

Eren, Armin and Mikasa came barreling through the door, each one holding a package just like mine. They sat down in front of me, the two boy's eyes traveled my face, making sure I was okay, while Mikasa just stared at her worn shoes. Concerned filled me. What if that asshole had traumatized her?

"Mikasa, are you okay?" I asked, not sure of how was her mental state. Not knowing if she had any grim experiences in the past that this episode could trigger.

"Yes..." Her voice was barely audible, but she looked at me and smiled "Thank you."

The tension in my body dissipated with her gesture. I released the air I was holding, and I pulled my hood back a little, just enough so they could see my face.

"Are You hurt? Did the guard do anything to you?" Eren asked, concerned. He was such a cute kid, and I almost wanted to squish the hell out of his cheeks.

"There's no need to worry, he let me off the hook with a warning." I winked at him. "Now eat, you must be hungry."

The sound of tearing paper and the crunch of their bites created a relaxed atmosphere, as the four of us eat the mediocre food they gave us. Looking at Armin I couldn't help the chuckle that came out, he was covered in crumbs to the point where it almost looked like a beard.

But although we were all in a comfortable silence, Armin kept stealing glances at me from time to time. He even opened his mouth and closed it, as if he was afraid to ask me something. After the sixth time in a row he did this I sighed. Crumbling the leftover paper in my hands it sat straight and looked at him.

"You can say whatever your thinking Armin" His big blue eyes filled with surprise focused on me . "I don't bite, so it's okay." Eren and Mikasa's stare went from his face to mine, trying to decipher what their friend was about to say.

I smiled at him, trying to ease a little of his apprehension toward me, hoping that at least he would be less afraid of me if I took the time to listen to him, His eyes studied me for a few seconds with intensity, I suppose trying to decide if he would talk or not. Finally he opened his mouth and let a single question out.

"Why are you hiding from the military?"

Shit.

There was no use in lying to them, Armin had already noticed, but I was not about to go spreading all the dirty and gruesome ditals on impressionable children. Apparently I was doing a shitty job being discreet, or maybe Armin was ten times smarter than the bunch of guards surrounding us.

"Ami that obvious?" I asked, concerned. Armin nodded, while Eren and Mikasa shook their heads. I sighed, defeated. If a kid could piece together my odd behavior an adult could do it in a heartbeat"

"I promise I'll keep the secret" he declared. How could this kid trust me? he barely knew me, for all he knew I could be a serial blond child killer. Sensing the question in my mind, Armin continued. "You defended Mikasa and stood up for us. You also gave them your sleeping stuff, both without knowing them, so I don't think you're bad" Well shit, this kid was endearing.

"Uh... well I..." stammered, not knowing what to say and what to leave out of the explanation. "A very powerful person did something horrible to a friend of mine and blamed me for it. "It was a very washed out version of the facts, and it was all they needed to know. "So now the soldiers are looking for me, under their commands. And there's also the problem about Maria falling. My only safe place to hide was my house... And it was inside those walls, and my father is..." A stab went through my heart when I noticed the error in my words, and I didn't want to correct them. "Was a garrison, he died trying to rescue someone, or at least I think he did... I haven't heard of him since.." Things got quite emotional, and I adverted my gaze, trying to hide the tears that filled them when I thought of dad. I stroke his ring, trying to keep his memory close.

Eren growled, and I looked at him. His eyes were cast down and he had his fist clenched, his body shaking and a scowl was plastered in his face.

"I'll kill them all!" He hissed, as his green eyes shone with pure anger." I swear i will, for mom ans for (Y/N)'s father.... When I'm in the survey corps, I'll exterminate all the titans! "

The determination in his eyes gave me chills. Now I understood a little more what happened to them. But shit! Eren wanted to enlist in the scout regiment. That meant that, if I survived, we would be comrades. My imagination went loose for a moment, and a disturbing picture of him in a titan's jaw, my heart clenched at the possibility.

Even tho he was still a kid, i could see a resolve in his eye only a few adults had. Hale's blue eyes replaced Eren's in my mind, and I knew there was no way of changing his mind.

"How Old are you?" I questioned, if he was old enough it was almost a fact he would enlist in the same training group as me.

"10..." Admitted Eren, and I almost celebrated in joy, he still had 2 more years to regret his decision. His fate wasn't set in stone yet. "I know you think there must be something wrong with me because of what I want. But I won't stay still and act like cattle." I kinda felt bad fr him. No matter how suicidal it was, a dream was a dream, he must have a damn good reason to go outside the walls, and I was no one to judge, I would join too, against my better judgment but still, and dad raised no hypocrite.

"Can I tell you a secret Eren?" I asked, his frown still present. "I'll join the Survey Corps too, and we will be partners... So I'll wait for you and we'll go out of these walls together. How does that sound?" I offered. A smile replaced the sunken expression he had previously. Why did I wanted to make him feel better? Why did I promise such a thing? I had no idea, but at the moment it felt like the right thing to say.

"Me too." Mikasa's Quiet but firm voice stated, her black eye gazing straight at me.

"I'll join too... And we'll see the ocean Eren." Armin said, the nervous waver his voice had when I was around nowhere to be found.

"Ocean?" I questioned, the term was completely unknown to me. The three kids looked at me, the excitement showing in their eyes despite my ignorance.

The rest of the afternoon we spend it sitting there, Armin narrating the stories in his Grandfather's book. painstakingly beautiful pictures of salty waters and white sand appearing in my mind, even tho it took some effort from my side. It was extraordinary. We spoke without stopping until Armin left for the night, promising he'll talk to his grandfather about me, so he could talk to me about the book and the rest of the stories we couldn't explore that day. I just laughed, trying to extinguish the little hint of excitement that appeared inside upon his offer.

The cold came back to chase us, Eren and Mikasa trembling uncontrollably, I could even hear their clattering teeth. Once the guards declared the lights off, and the last candle was blown out, I took off my cape, indicating the kids to lie down so I could tuck them in.

"What about you (Y/n)?" Asked Mikasa. Her voice was as monotone as always, but a hint of concerned adorned her face "It's cold" She stated the obvious.

"Yeah, don't you sleep at all?" Eren inquired.

"Not much as of lately, sometimes I take a nap here and there, but I rather the both of you sleeping properly." Sharing a look, they nodded to each other, and sat up on their improvised mattresses.

"Then we'll keep you company." Eren announced. Damn it, once again the warm fuzzy feeling spread in my chest. I gigged amused at their antics.

"No, the two of you are going to sleep because you are still growing and you need it. So come on, lay down so I can cover you up." They just stared at me, a stubborn tilt on their chins. Eren even went ahead and crossed his arms. "All right whatever, Stay awake all night if you want." I was convinced they would pass out from sleep in an hour maximum.

And I was completely wrong. I was surprised at their resolve. Eren and Mikasa showed me just how far you can go if you're determinate enough. Two hours later they were still awake, with heavy lids and barely conscious, but they had endured more than what I expected. I saw them struggle to stay awake as I told them stories about Hale and Ivo, and the time Annton picked me up from the street. Eren recounted in a whisper how Mikasa ended up with his family, and I understood why she was so close to him. They both narrated how they met Armin and how they would always go out and pick wood together.

The vulnerability I was allowing myself to show in those moments were a luxury. In the last times I hadn't been able to relax and just listen to the voices of the past, that fight to make me remember the good and happy days that were gone forever, but that always willbring a smile to my face.

When Eren's head nodded for the fifth time I had enough. Grumbling I got up, Mikasa watching me silently.

"Okay, both of you, lay down now. And leave me some room." They'd won that round.

Once the three of us were protected from the freezing night air Eren smiled smugly at me, gloating in their victory. I stretched my arm across Mikasa's body, that was separating us, and flicked his forehead, just like Annton and Ivo used to do when i was little.

"God, you two are stubborn." I muttered. Mikasa turned on her side to face me and smiled. " Now go to sleep. It's late and I'm not going to wake your sleepy butts to get the food tomorrow, you little rascals." I tried to sound threatening, but a slight smile curled my lips.

In a few minutes the kids were fast asleep, while I on the other hand was convinced that another sleepless night was coming.

I was about to get up from the precarious bed the three of us were sharing and to take my usual spot against the wall, but Mikasa's hand found mine underneath the blankets.

I thought she was awake because of the noise I made while trying to leave, but when I turned to her she was still sound asleep. If I got up with her holding my hand she was going to wake up and I was going to feel guilty as fuck. So carefully not to move her I settled back down, and just watched them sleep. In a completely non creepy way.

Mikasa was holding Eren's jacket in the same way she was holding my hand.

I was happy they still had each other and Armin too. The three of them together would go far, and maybe even keep each other's safe from the titans. A sudden Nostalgia hit me as I thought of my friends, Annton was no longer with us, but his memory and the ring in my hand would give me the strength I needed to get out of the mess I was in.

And I was going to help those three kids as much as I could until we had to make our separate ways, the certainty of our paths crossing again in the lines of the survey corps giving me something to look forward too, and the resilient hope of them retracting on their decisions was still present.

Eren and Mikasa's soft breath lulled me, and for the first time in days the sleep reached me.


	6. ✘ Ace: Separation ✘

Almost six months had passed since Maria fell. We left 845 behind, and 846 begun.  
The government had transferred most of the refugees into farms to harvest resources, and luckily for me I had to move to the same place than the kids and Armin’s grandfather.  
Mikasa, Eren and Armin got really close to me, and the same happened to me. I had no doubt in my heart that I would give y life to ensure they were safe. Which was kinda hard given the fact that they still wanted to enlist, Eren was almost counting the days, Mikasa and Armin ready to follow his lead. In my eyes they were still babies, on the verge of turning 11 years old. So, How could they possibly understand the dangers they were going to face head on?  
Hoping they changed their mind was as dumb as it was selfish. They were certain about their decisions, and even though I could sleep reassured, knowing they were alive behind those wall, trying to force them into not going to the surveys and stay inside the concrete cell was too cruel.  
The days were relatively peaceful. I woke up early, before sunrise, and prepared breakfast for the five of us. After that the kids cleaned while we, the grown-ups , went to work on the fields for a few hours. Later in the evenings when they replaced me I could go ahead behind the barn where we store the wheat and use the rest of the dim daylight to train.  
I never thought I would miss the suffocating scorching air of the basement, but as I delivered blows into the tree’s hard barks I couldn’t stop myself from longing for simpler times.   
Eren and Mikasa quickly took an interest in my hobbies and kept me company, sitting in a pile of old crates just watching me practice drills and keeping my stamina up, their legs swinging back and forth, but barely, they would grow tall in no time, taller than me for sure, and maybe even taller than Ivo.  
“Can you teach me?” Mikasa inquired one late night as I was trying to remember Annton’s favorite punches combination. She took me by surprise.   
“Me too!” Eren jumped down from his usual sitting spot and ran to me, the excitement in his body was almost palpable.   
“Maybe tomorrow, it’s getting late already” I objected, sweat and the icy breeze of night wasn’t a good combination for someone’s health.  
That ‘maybe tomorrow’ turned in a week because they tasked me with one of the most tedious and arduous thing I had to do in my life, weeding the crops. Armin’s grandpa skipped it because he had back pain, and since the only one strong enough to do the job efficiently was me, I had to spend six days hunched over digging my nails in the dirt. By the time I could finish for the day, my wrists ached from the constant pulling and the only thing I wanted to do was passing out in the closest thing i could find, chair, table, couch, bed. Anything worked for my tired body.  
One would’ve thought the kids would understand, but of course they didn’t. Eren whined like a baby, begging me to get up, and I just laughed at him. He was crazy if he tough my legs could work normally after seven hours of cramps and aches.  
“Please (Y/N)! We might need to know he basics for when we enlist!” Eren whined.  
He had a point there, but that didn’t magically cured my sore muscles.  
“When I finish the weeding, I’ll take my day off and properly teach you.” He pouted at my response, but there wasn’t really much we could do about the workload the military police demanded from us.  
I woke up the next day to find the crops free from the annoying green sprouts. And to an almost passed out Eren on the kitchen. With one look at the cuts in his fingers, I knew the culprit. Did he spend all night in the corps? With the freezing air? I would give him a lecture after my heart finished turning into goo from how adorable he was. Sighing, I picked him up and carried him to his bed. His cuts were clean, and I remembered his dad was a doctor. Probably watching after injuries was something he took from his progenitor.  
Eren slept for the rest of the day. So I postponed the training another day.  
When the sun peaked through the walls, I woke the three sleeping children and dragged them outside where I had prepared a few sacks filled with the weeds we recollected as punching bags.  
Their droopy eyes filled with excitement the moment they understood what we were doing.   
Mikasa and Eren where on board, Armin was a little less convinced, but he agreed anyway.  
“Okay Rascals, let’s see what you got.” I said.  
And they surprised me.   
Mikasa handled my ass in no time. Her reflexes and strength weren’t normal in a kid, when she trained for real the little girl would be lethal. After two failed tries she managed to throw me over her shoulder with a decent amount of force, the impact of my shoulder against the grass making me wince.   
Eren on the other hand trained with passion, but thing were a little more complicated for him. His movements were rushed and unprecised. He reminded of me when dad tried to teach me for the first time. It also didn’t help that he got frustrated when Mikasa got the hang of it faster than him.  
“I don’t like this anymore” He said, not even getting up after I made him lose his balance. Frustrated tears misted over his eyes.   
Mikasa just sat next to Armin, who was watching us intently, but without involving in the exercises  
“Hey, it’s okay if you don’t get this on the first try, it takes practice Eren.” I laid down on him, watching the clouds above us.  
“But Mikasa...” He objected, but I shut him up before he could even finish the idea. Those negative thought would take him nowhere. It wasn’t healthy for anyone to compare their skill level with someone else, specially when they were just starting   
“Mikasa is another case... We’re focusing on you now, and what she can and cannot do has nothing to do with you, Okay? So don’t go there.” I turned to him and flicked his forehead to get my point across. “I didn’t master this with only training for a day Eren, It’s up to you if you want to put the effort or not.”   
His gaze drifted to the sky, and he stayed silent for a while.   
“Okay, let’s go” Getting up he dusted off the dirt on his pants and got on position again.  
“That’s the spirit Kiddo.”  
By the time the sun set he could almost throw me, and during the next week he mastered the technic, and it never failed to amuse me when he and Mikasa practiced behind the barn where I could see Eren’s attempt at throwing her off balance.  
Those times where I could just be with them and see their growth were cherished. Hale and Ivo visiting as much as they could without being suspicious, to keep me updated with Lord’s Reiss movements, who apparently knew how to hold a grudge, keeping an exorbitant price for delivering me alive to him.   
“Ivo!” Eren’s cheerful voice filled the air every time he saw the cart in the road that lead to the house.   
“What’s up, brat? Missed me?” Ivo’s relationship with the kids had developed into a friendship, with the constant hours they had to spend together because of me. “Where are the other two runt? I brought Armin a new book, I’m sure he finished the last one already”   
He was good with kids, and he had a soft spot for the trio.  
With the three kids distracted with the new literary piece in their possession on top of the kitchen table, Ivo approached me as I was trying to cook dinner.   
“Hey, I got news about the recruitment” A small apologetic smile in his face told me he knew how I felt.  
Part of me wished I could just stay there in the farm with the kids and Armin’s grand father forever, but it was impossible with the constant flow of guards and military policemen coming and going around collecting the harvest. I couldn’t live forever covered by a cape.  
“What about it?” I asked, not really because I wanted to know but because I had to.   
“So, they start in a month. You should start getting ready...” My heart crushed, I was not ready, and a month wasn’t enough. Ivo noticed my distressed and clasped my shoulders as I was cutting some onions. I attributed the sting in my eyes to them and not the idea of leaving the kids behind. “You don’t have to worry, I’ll keep an eye on them.” If he hoped he could make me feel better, he was wrong. His heart was in a good place, but I was convinced only me and Armin’s grandfather could take good care of them.   
“You don’t have to worry about us (Y/n)” Mikasa’s voice broke my little pity party. “It’s only going to be a year, we already decided to enlist when we turn 12.” That didn’t help either. I barely knew how to tie my shoes at twelve years old.   
“Yeah! Just wait for us in the Survey corps! We’ll kill all the titans and then see the ocean together, remember?” Eren reminded me of the promise we had.   
“Maybe I Can wait another year and then join with them... I can hide like I’ve been doing until now.” I tried to convince Ivo, but he just deadpanned at me.  
“I think you’ve been lucky until now, but the chances of you keeping the cover for another year is really dim. It’s better if you enlist now.” Armin reasoned, but it still didn’t sit well in my stomach.   
“Yeah listen to the kids, who apparently have more common sense than you do.” I threw a piece of potato to his head and hit his eye. “Auch! Goddamit, that hurts (Y/n)!” The kids giggled and the tension in the room dissipated a little, but it still remained thick in my body. “It’s better to stick to the plan (Y/n), and you know it. They’ll be fine.” I turned to the kids, and they nodded in agreement. I sighed, giving up on my excuses and accepted the finality of the situation. Everything would be fine after all, right?  
Wrong.   
Tragedy struck once again the day after Ivo left. A letter reached us and it tore Armin’s grandfather from us. They selected him for the suicide mission to reconquer Maria. I plead him not to go, stating that it was a crazy plan, but he refused to listen to my pathetic sobs.   
“If I don’t go, they might rataliete against the kids, besides you’re just assuming we’re going to die,” He smiled sadly at me “It might surprise you, but these old bones can still fight!” I saw the doubt in his eyes and I knew he was sacrificing himself for us to have a better chance at surviving.  
A week later he was off into the horizon, his last words etched in my heart.  
“Take care of Armin for me okay?”  
Obviously the mission failed in record time.  
Armin’s tears couldn’t stop falling for days as he clutched his grandfather’s hat close to his heaving chest. The only thing I could do was hug him at night, trying to soothe the heartache I knew was unbearable.  
His hopes were cruelly snatched from him by pigs who were safe in their castles, filling their bellies like there weren’t thousands of starving people pleading for food outside of Sina’s walls. Thinking that sending the poor section of the population to a horrible and certain death was the solution. Armin’s feeling of safety with his grandfather was gone, lost because of a negligent government.  
If I didn’t want to leave them before, now it was impossible.  
I would wait another year, no matter what they said or did. So when Ivo came back at the end of the month with Hale, I delivered the news to them, fully aware they would chew my butt, but I was sure of my decision .  
The usual cheerful greeting between the kids and my friends didn’t lift my mood like it always did. When the three of us were inside of the house I finally found my voice.  
“I’m staying until next year” I concluded, not caring about the shocked and angry looks I got from them.   
“What do you mean?” Hale said, who recomposed almost immediately to my news. Ivo just stared at us. I could feel Eren’s angry stare in the side of my head, but I ignored it, kknowing full well he would scream at me.   
“I won’t leave them alone Hale.” I explained, and she seemed to understand what I implied.   
“You do realize it’s suicide, right?” Ivo stepped forward, towering above me, looking straight at my eyes. “Are you aware of the risks for you and for them too, I imagine?” His opinion implied behind his words.  
I knew they were worried about me and my safety, and it was valid, but my concern for Mikasa Eren and Armin was too.   
“I won’t leave them alone in here.” I repeated, crossing my arms. “I’l be careful, like I’ve been until now.”  
“I don’t like it (Y/N)” Ivo’s hand went to his hair, pulling his fringe a little in frustration. “You’re risking too much...”  
“You don’t need to like it. Just accept it.” My decision was final. “I’ll join with them next year, and we’ll see from there. Ivo, I can’t leave them alone, they’re still ki..” something hard collided with my temple and Eren’s shoe fell to my feet. Did he really just threw his shoe at my head? I would’ve laugh if it wasn’t for the current mood in the room.  
The three of us turned to the kids, and my cold ran cold.   
Eren’s eyes were ignited with rage, as Mikasa retained him by his shirt, trying to keep him out of our conversation. She was frowning at me tho, not happy about what I was trying to do.   
“Are you serious!?” He said when he noticed my attention on him, the words died in my mouth. “You’re willing to die in vain!?” He shoved Mikasa aside and came barreling to me, his fist colliding with my hips repeatedly. I didn’t expect them to understand, and I knew they were going to be upset, but I wasn’t ready for this intensity.  
“Eren!” Mikasa whined and tried to take him away from me. Ivo grabbed him from under the arms and lifted him in the air, holding him in his arms, Mikasa positioned herself next to them showing me who she was siding in the discussion.  
“(y/n)... think about it please, we’ll talk in the morning. I’ll postpone the trip to tomorrow’s evening.”   
Ivo Hale and the two kids left the room.  
I flopped on the couch, next to Armin, who had been quiet the whole time. We stayed like that for a while, the only sound interrupting the peacefulness was the eventual sniffing from me, as I’d cried.  
“You know... They have a point.” He pondered. “The chances of you remaining unnoticed until we can actually enroll are pretty slim… " His eyes were foucused in the table in front of us. "I heard a few guards already talking about the way you act, they’re curious.” Fuck, Armin’s words weren’t helping. “I know you’re worried about our safety, but you can’t really help us if you’re already dead” Getting up he left the room, leaving me alone to think about my decisions.  
Armin was smart, and a little manipulative too. He knew how to strike in the right place to have the reaction he wanted.   
And he succeeded. Armin’s short and consise speech took the blindfold away from my eyes. The rest of the night went by in a few moments, and the sun’s first rays warmed my face through the windows. Knowing it would be the last time for a long time, I got up from the couch and went to prepare breakfast for all of us.

Tears prickled my eyes as I heated some water for a cup of tea, the dark gray clouds in the sky matching my mood, the constant threat of a downpour above our heads. When the first raindrops fell the light footsteps of the kids signaled them entering the room.  
Looking over my shoulder, I noticed the three of them sitting at the table, Eren’s and Mikasa’s eyes stuck to the scratched surface while Armin stole glances at me from time to time, trying to determine if I had thought about what he told me.  
I smiled at him, as I tried to memorize their features, because the next time I saw them they would be different, considering the fast pace they were growing. Eren was slowly starting to lose the baby fat surrounding his face. By the time they joined he would look like a teen, and I was going to miss the process.  
Sighing, I filled my cup with the steaming black liquid, hoping it would help with my distress. I poured three more and left them on the table right in front of them.  
Even though it was subtle, Eren flinched at the sound of the porcelain against the table. I could see the tension in his shoulders, but I didn’t know if it was because he was still mad at me for last night’s incident or if he had slept in an awful position.  
Mikasa’s eyes found mine for a brief moment when she reached for the cup, but they adverted as a quiet “thank you” slipped past her lips. Armin’s hand reached for his cup and he did a Mikasa.  
Eren lifted his head, locking eyes with me, and I froze, a breath stuck in my throat. His green eyes were full of tears, his bottom lip trembling slightly. He bit it, trying to stop the quivers looking to the side. My heart clenched at the sight of the broken boy. Was he so visibly upset because of my attempt to stay? Did I fuck up with suggesting it? His ego was surely bruised because of my doubt over them staying safe for a year alone. Regret and guilt mixed in my gut.  
I opened my mouth to speak, but in a heartbeat he was no longer sitting in front of me. Moving fast as thunder he suddenly appeared next to me, circling my with his arms and holding tight, the pressure of his arms around my waist hurting a little, but I didn’t mention it, relieved by his actions.  
“I’m sorry” He said, hiding his face in my shirt. I could feel the tears staining it and the ones I was holding back all morning spilled.  
I hugged him back, squeezing even harder, trying to imprint the feeling of his hug in my memory. Another two bodies collided against us, and I knew Mikasa and Armin joined our hug. I circled them too with my arms.  
I cleared my throat, catching their attention. Mikasa lifted her face to look at me. Her eyes were dry, but they now held an uncharacteristic sadness in them.  
“Okay, listen up you three...” I began, trying to hide the pain I was feeling. “You are the only good thing that came out of a shitty year,” Mikasa’s frown deepened at the curse word, but she said nothing. It wasn’t like me to give speeches, but it was a special occasion. “And I hope you stay as united as you are forever. I’ll leave today only if you accept that condition, and if you promise to write, because I’ll miss you guys.“ I said. Eren’s arms tightened even more .  
“You don’t need to worry, Ivo and Hale will check on us every now and then. We need you to survive.” Armin spoke, Mikasa nodding in agreement. ”And we promise to stick together, but you have to promise you won’t forget us while you’re away.” His insecurity flashed again.  
These three little kids have lost so many loved ones and I could see behind his words and actions that they cared about me. Which meant I was doing something right with them if they were concerned about me. I sniffled and laughed brokenly.  
“That’s ridiculous. How could I forget about the kid who showed me the wonderful world behind these walls?” Armin smiled at me with eyes glazed over. “Or the girl that can throw someone the double of her age effortlessly... I still got the marks of that time, Mikasa.” She snorted, and I squeezed her a little more. Even tho she kept her emotions under control all the time she was one of the most caring persons i’ve ever met. “And Eren, we’ll go outside together, so keep training until then. I’ll wait for you in the surveys.” Or at least I hoped I could survive until then.  
A potential death in the hands of a titan was better than a certain death because of Reiss orders.  
The rest of the day is a hazy mess in my memory. Most of it went by packing the few belonging I had. Hale and Ivo announced it was time to go when I finished tying the knot in my bag.  
Observing how Ivo carried it into the cart, I could only feel the regret in my decision, just how angry would the kids be if I suddenly locked myself into the room until Ivo and Hale left?  
Speaking of the devil, Hale’s hand clasped my shoulder, squeezing reassuringly, almost as if she knew what I was thinking.  
“Don’t worry, it will be fine... It’s your best chance Ace.” She said, but I still doubted.  
I tried to dissipate my second thoughts. Ivo whistle for us to get into the cart, and Hale said goodbye to the kids, promising to come back as soon as she could. Palming my back, she left me alone with the kids to say goodbye for real.  
Sighing I crouched down and hugged them one last time, their fingers clutching the fabric of my hood. I tried not to cry, reminding me that it would only be for a year, we were going to keep in touch with the letters and Hale and Ivo would look after them, but the fact that I wasn’t going to be able to spend time with them was tightening my chest.  
“You better write me... I’ll miss you rascals.” I got up, and Mikasa searched for something in her pocket.  
She extended a small black rock to me without a word. It was flat and shiny and in one of its faces, it had their names engraved into it.  
“We know it’s not much...” Eren begun, Mikasa nodding in agreement.  
“But this way you can keep us with you.” Armin finished the sentence.  
I looked back at Hale and Ivo in search for something to say, as they were in earshot, but they were not helpful. Ivo was weeping like a baby while Hale was trying to console him, rubbing his back in comforting circles. He was a crybaby sometimes, but it was okay, as I was about to cry too.   
“This is the best thing you three could’ve got me kids.” They were making the whole “not crying anymore” thing difficult-  
“(Y/N)... It’s time to go, the cart is fully loaded now.” Hale announced. The heaviness falling into my shoulders at her words.  
Suddenly I wanted to beg for more time together, as it wasn’t enough. My time in the tiny house with them wasn’t perfect, but it was the closes thing I could think of, and it was hard to let go and walk away.  
I hugged them one last time and I get inside the cart, the hood protecting me from the cold droplets that were falling from the sky.  
The cramped space felt cold without the kid’s presence, and as it advanced, I looked back into the house where the three of them were waving me goodbye from the door. Hale Ivo and I imitated them until the small farmhouse was only a dot in the distance.  
“Come on (Y/n)... We’ll keep them safe.” Hale’s hand squeezed mine, and I nodded vagely, my focus on everything that could go horribly wrong in the year I would be away.  
“You know... They remind me of us in a sense...” Said Ivo, and I could see it too.  
“Yeah... Mikasa is as scary as Hale when she gets mad.” I joked, the tears trailing down my cheeks “Last week she could beat me in only a minute dude, she’s talented. And Eren is one of the bravest persons in the world. And god, Armin makes me feel so fucking dumb when he speaks. Can you guys believe he gets bored with the books he reads because he guesses the ends?”  
Most of the trip consisted of them listening to my rambling about the brats.  
One year. I repeated those two words in my head over and over, needing to believe them for my own sanity.  
The trip to the training camp took longer than what i expected, as we had to stop in the city to unload the crates and bags filled with the farm’s harvest. We left Hale behind and Ivo and continued in another cart that was conveniently going to the training corps to restock its inventory to prepare for the newcomers.  
I did not understand how the whole inscription paperwork functioned, and Ivo had barely given me the overall description of what could I expect. Not mentioning where it was or what was I supposed to do. The only thing he asked for was my birth certificate, explaining he would take care of the rest, which only incremented my anxiety.  
When we got to our destination, the sight made me want to crawl in a hole. The depressing brown hills that surrounded the camp were already making me feel trapped, and I noticed that everything was, indeed, a sad shade of brown, from the soil to the cabins, the only thing that sliced through the muddy scenery was a dash of green from a forest, Where I assumed we would train .  
We got down from our transportation and Ivo left me all alone to sign me in into the administrative building. I stood there for a couple of minutes, like an idiot, just waiting and observing my new environment like a fish out of water. A couple of instructors parade in front of me, talking in hushed tones as they looked me up and down. Intimidated by their higher ranks, I focused my attention into my dirty and mud covered boots. My father’s advice still fresh in my memory.  
“In the military, respect is above everything else (Y/N). Be humble of your position and you should be fine.” He said the morning I delivered the news to him .  
The men and women in charge of our training had earned their positions with hard work and determination through years of their life and I wasn’t about to disrespect their efforts with a bratty attitude... Or at least that’s what my dad told me to do.  
Ivo came back after a few more minutes, a bald man by his side.  
His wrinkled face seemed like one of someone who had seen horrible things, his skin tanned because of the amount of hours he spent under the scorching sun’s rays. Once they got to Where I was, I straightened my posture, hands behind my back. He stepped in front of me, nodding in acknowledgment, a sour expression on his face.  
“Are you (Y/n) Müller?” He asked, his voice harsh and blunt, just like his appearance.  
“Yes, sir.” I responded, intimidated by him. I tried to ignore Ivo’s amused smile behind the soldier.  
“I’ve met your father... a dedicated and brave man, I expect nothing less from you cadet. It’ll be my pleasure to have you in the recruits unit number one hundred and three.” His welcoming was sincere, as he had no reason or need to greet me personally. It seemed like my father was an appreciated man by some. The thought warmed my heart. “I’m chief instructor Kieth Shadis and I’ll be supervising your training for the three years you’ll be with us. Welcome.” He inclined his head and left me muttering a welcome to his retreating back.  
Ivo palmed my arm and I relaxed.  
“Welcome to the army Ace.” He said, the smile clear in his voice. “Make us proud.”  
I hoped I could do it. Apparently now I had people expecting something me to do well in the training, while the only thing I knew how to do was throw some punches and then dodge a few, fighting titans was a whole different thing.  
I just hoped not to die during my training.


	7. Ace: Offer up your Heart

A year.

One whole fucking year where they beat your ass up in every possible way. 

In your first year of training, the classes comprised the basics. How to balance on the ODM gear, hand to hand combat, physical conditioning, horse riding, surviving skills and the good old academic exams and classes, where you learnt how the society worked, how the titans worked and behaved, strategy and conflict resolution.

To put it in a few words, a whole lot of stuff.

It was an understatement to say i had the hand to hand combat in the bag, along with the physical conditioning. The last one was harsher than I expected. The long hours of running laps and weight lifting caused my muscles to turn into mush, barely able to hold my weight during the first month I spent there. In the twelve months I had spent in there I only lost two fights, one because the exhaustion caused me to lose focus, and the second time was just because I was staring at my partner’s hot muscled arms, that seemed to belong into a painting. He had managed to lock me into a choke hold, and let’s just say the position wasn’t too uncomfortable, specially since i got to enjoy his manly scent surrounding me. 

I dreaded the days we had to be near horses. Since growing up the closest i’ve been to one was when i was riding a cart to go into the basement, i was scared t even go near those miniature titans, me and the horses always had an agreement, i would leave them alone if they didn’t kicked me in the face, and that worked up until i joined the training corps. It was essential i mastered the skill before joining the survey corps, since it was the main resources they had to transport in the open field .

For some twisted fate I always ended up practicing with horses who ultimately didn’t give a fuck about orders, riding west when I asked to go east, stopping without my command and jumping around just to get me off their backs. This amused my instructors who left me to my own devices, chuckling as they took notes on my performance, except for Keith, who would send me running laps for my “incompetence”, his words, not mine. It wasn’t my fault that horses scared the living hell out of me, one kick from those beasts and I could kiss my sorry life goodbye.

Luckily for me, what i lacked controlling horses I made it up with my skills when it came to maneuvering in the Odm gear. The first time they hooked me up into those pillars I surprised everyone, and myself included when I didn’t flop face first into the ground. Yes, I still stumbled a little bit, wobbling like a baby giving their first steps, my balance didn’t falter once. I think most of my skills came from the abdominals strength i developed in all the years I’ve been fighting in the basement. Balance is key to stay on your feet when you spar, and that aspect translated amazingly when it came down to be suspended in the air. 

And when it came to academics… Well, they weren’t awful, but I didn’t particularly excel at them. Every Time they gave us things to read, my mind couldn’t stop wandering back to Armin and how he would be thrilled if they enlisted the following year.

the survival courses were okay, and the stuff they taught us, but Shadis took a few points off of my final score because I almost ate some poisonous berries.

Even thogh I talked to a few people here and there, I didn’t invested myself in any kind of friendship, keeping myself in the sidelines, going to bed early and waking up at the break of dawn. I’ve never been as responsible as I was in that first year I spent training, or at least Eren, Mikasa and Armin joined the troop n°104. From that point on, my punctuality went downhill. The curfew was an unknown word in my vocabulary, and I sneaked out in the night to spend some time with Mikasa in her cabin, not caring about the odd looks her roommates sent my way when I sneaked in through the window. Eventually they got used to me and joined the conversations. Armin and Eren were a completely different case. It was a rare occurrence when we got over 20 minutes together during breakfast, but I always made sure to check up on them. 

Ivo and Hale were still present in my life, constantly sending me letters and updating me on everything that was going on in their lives. Saying that i missed them was an understatement, but on the bright side, the long hours of training on how not to die left little to no time to mop around and cry over my dad and Ann, the pain was still there, but the tears didn’t cane as regularly as they used to. Their rings remained on my left hand, as well as the rock the kids gifted me that stayed in my left pocket, giving my jacket a comforting weight. 

And just like that, two years went by in the blink of an eye. 

Superiors and instructors were constantly breathing down our necks, advising us on what branch to choose from, some rooting for the garrisons, others promoting the military Police, but one thing didn’t go unnoticed by me was the lack of mention of the Survey corps. A tight fist clenched in my gut when I remembered how I could never live a peaceful life within Sina, no matter how good my grades where. It was just impossible. 

“Remember not to excel, they’ll be interested in you if you outshine everybody.”

Hale and Ivo’s advice was like a mantra engraved into my brain. 

“Keep a low profile, otherwise the Military Police might scout you out…” 

Was that a bad thing? No, usually it wasn’t, but when your life depends ongoing unnoticed by those same pricks that licked Lord Reiss’s boots it was a pressing matter.

During the last three weeks of training, representatives of the three branches visited and stayed to observe the newbies that were about to enroll in one of the three positions. Wich meant I needed to be extra careful, and when I spotted Djane Sanes in between the group of superiors, my week took a turn for the worst. 

Sanes was one of the pigs that usually follower Lord Reiss around in The Basement, trying to get his favor by keeping him comfortable in that small and sweat smelling place. Whenever his somber face and beady little eyes appeared I had to keep my back turned or my head cast down, and as an extra measure, I changed my place in the lines, sticking to the back rows, in the shade of taller and bigger recruits. 

Thankfully, the garrison sent soldiers I’ve never seen in my life, so when they were around I had an easier time breathing. They still approached me and tried to sell the perfect picture of the “Garrison Life” as they called it, protecting the walls, maintain the peace within them and blah blah blah. But I was my father’s daughter and if hearing his constant complaint about the force taught me something was that the garrison was anything but. Little pay and camaraderie, too much slacking.

When my results were shared during the last week, I held my breath and prayed for the best. A sever or less meant staying behind for three extra weeks in an intensive training regimen to improve our deficiencies, which translated more weeks in the danger zone, but if I had an excelling grade, it would with no doubt attract unwanted attention. Staying in the middle proved to be more difficult than what I expected, and doubts started creeping in the back of my head.

Because, damn I tried, but in the end my ego got the best of me during the ODM Gear and titans simulation test, leaving me in the top three for that one even if I tried to keep a low profile. Instinctively my blades sliced as deep as I could, maybe because it was a good way of realising tensions. Luckily in my shooting test I was average at best, missing a few times, just like in my academic exams. I didn’t even have to try to me mediocre in my horse riding test. I mean, now I could make the beast go where I wanted him to go, but that was the only improvement in our relationship. 

All my notes put together and then divided gave my result of 8.6, which was higher than what I expected, but still left me out of the top ten.

Sighing with content I walked to my cabin, almost tasting the comfiness of my bed, but I couldn’t even get my shoes off before the hard nocks rattled the old wooden door. Being presentable wasn’t my concern, since I was too busy radiating happiness from my score to care about messy hair or a wrinkled button up. The visitor was most likely Eren, Mikasa or Armin asking how did it go.

The door swung open immediately after I unlocked it, and the corner almost hit me across the face. Startled I looked who was so excited to see me, and my eyes shot open. Instead of the kids or a superior, Hale’s radian smile flashed in front of me. 

”Hello my lovely!” Her loud greeting reverberated across the empty cabin as she entered the room. Her arms immediately circled my shoulders and pressed me tightly against her chest. “I found out about your grades! Congratulations, the instructors were baffled, they couldn’t understand how you could excel at practice but execute so poorly when the real test came around! Glad to see you finally listed to us… For once at least” She pulled away, keeping me at arms length, but when I saw her smile again I couldn’t resist bringing her in for another tight embrace “Oh! I almost forget!” She turned to the door. “ You can come in now!” She shouted out and turned to wink at me. 

I was so immersed in Hale’s presence and my own happiness that I failed to notice the man standing at my door. When my eyes catch a glimpse at him, the first thing I noticed was the emblem stitched at his jacket’s front pocket. 

The Wings Of Freedom, as Eren liked to call them. 

The individual strands of thread seemed to glimmer under the afternoon’s light, blue and white intertwining to create the image of two wings. My arms erupted in goosebumps. 

“(Y/n), This is Erwin, commander of the Survey Corps.” Hale Introduced him.

Erwin’s tall frame entered the room and cast an imposing shadow upon me. For a moment feared the possibility that one of my dirty uniforms might be scattered across the floor, but then I remembered I left it out of sight under my bed. He was as beautiful as he was important, and my stomach did a flip when I noticed his striking blue eyes that were framed by two big eyebrows. His face was chiseled and his jaw strong. It had been a while since a spark of desire appeared in my navel, but Erwin made it happen without even trying.

Once he stood in front of me, less than a foot of distance between us, my spine went stiff and my shoulders pushed back, correcting my posture. The instinct of regarding a superior with respect seemed to have blossomed in my time of training. My fist came up to my heart and I saluted him in the usual way.

His lips twitched with amusement and he repeated my motion, somehow making it seem like his biceps might rip the fabric covering them, the muscle tightly imprison by his sleeve.

“Wow… Sometimes I forget you’re a soldier now.” Surprise filled Hale’s voice, and her comment broke the trance I had in my future commander. 

“Enchanted to meet you, Miss Müller. Hale spoke highly of you,” Erwin’s deep voice made my whole body tremble, and I couldn’t distinguish if it was because of fear or arousal. “I’ve been informed you’re interested in joining The Scout Regiment because of reasons that I don’t have knowledge about…” I stole a glance in Hale’s direction, and she was nodding her head. “I do not need the details about that, but i must say I’m impressed by your performance and having you in between or lines could be beneficial for our cause.” He stated, eyes scanning me up and down. My body was still stiff as a statute under his gaze.

“All right, Erwin, you can relax now” Hale’s voice cut through the silence that stretched after he finished his speech. “You might scare her off…” She joked.

“I apologize if it came out that way… May I call you by your first name?” He asked me, his shoulders visibly relaxed and I allowed myself to breathe normally. 

“I’d prefer that, actually…” I smiled at him. “Um… if you don’t mind me asking, Could any of you please tell me what i’m supposed to do after graduation today?” neither Ivo, Hale or the instructors bothered on explaining what to expect after our oath.

“They haven’t told you? Damn, they get lazier with time. Huh Erwin?” Hale asked crossing her arms across her chest and hip checking Erwin. He smiled at her and his amused eyes found mine. It took all my willpower not to blush like a little girl with a crush. “Okay, it’s simple actually. Once you’re oficially certified as a graduated soldier, you have to go to the administration office and ask for an applicant form and fill it up. It’s mostly just paperwork and a formality, because the only picky ones are the Military Police, you have to be the best of the best to make it in.” Her fingers pointed at the unicorn in her jacked, a shit-eating grin plastered across her face.

“I’ll stay here until the end of your graduation, because of the particularity of you situation and Hale’s recommendation… Or in other words the favor I owe her…” He smiled at me and I saw Hale blink an eye at me from the corner of my eye. “You’ll be coming back with me before the rest of the recruits.” Erwin Leaned against the door frame and observed me once again with his beautiful blue eyes. 

“Thank you so Much Commander” I inclined my head with respect. 

“No need to thank me (Y/n), I don’t know what problems you have or the real reason why you must stay hidden…” He hesitated, trying to seize my reaction. He extended his hands towards me for a handshake, and his fingers swallowed mine in a firm handshake, his resolve not only shoving in the way he spoke. ”But the Survey Corps, and myself personally will make sure you’re safe from whatever is hunting you inside the walls, and I’ll do all that’s in my power for you to stay alive outside them… But that will require a lot on your part too…” He let go of my hand and suddenly my fingers felt cold. “If you excuse me, I need to take care of your paperwork.”

The door swung shut behind him and left us in complete silence.

I turned to Hale with my eyebrows raised, almost brushing my hairline. She smiled and nodded at me before walking to my bed and falling face first into my mattress. 

“Wow…” I stated, siting in the empty space she left

“I know, he’s hot as fuck...And an outstanding leader of course….” I laughed with her, and her hand squeezed my knee reassuringly. “Don’t worry, I’m more than sure you’ll be just fine.”

“I hope so honestly...I’m a little nervous.” I confessed, my voice coming out brittle and barely above a whisper.

“Don’t be, i’m sure you’ll make a lot of friends and you’ll be super successful. If someone is capable of surviving out there, it’s definetely you, Ace.” She said, a promise implicit in her serious tone. “Besides, who knows? Maybe you’ll find something to pass the time, if you know what I mean…” And just like that the tense atmosphere dissipated, the fear that covered me like a blanket gone with a little Hale magic. 

“No Hale, I don’t know what you mean. “ I played dumb. My sexual business was none of hers. 

“Mhm, I heard one of the squad leaders is such a hottie, or at least that’s what the girls from the MP are commenting.” I rolled my eyes at her, because I doubted I would have free time to find someone attractive while I was trying to keep myself free from Lord Reiss clutches, and away from a titan’s mouth. “Don’t doubt it until you see it Ace…” She joked, singsonging voice tickling my ears. 

“I’ll keep that in mind. How’s everything with Lord Reiss going?” I Asked what I was most interested since Erwin left the room. 

“I think it’s a little better. The price is still the same, wich means he didn’t raise it thank god… It would be better if you looked you age and not the same as you did when you where nineteen, but we can’t do much about that.” She sighed tiredly. ”Oh and…” She hesitated for a second, her mouth pressing into a tight line and turning white with the pressure. “I don’t know if I should tell you this, but The Basement is running again in a different location”

I choked on my own spit and a cogh fit recked my body in a similar fashion her words had disturbed my heart. Hale’s palm stoke my back trying to calm me down, but her words kept dancing through my head, images of the four of us happy in the Basement cubicle, me in the ring wrecking someone’s face, Lord Reiss’s minions blocking my path… Annton on the floor, his blood staining my fingers… The thick cloud of smoke burning my nostrils…

“I know it’s hard…” Hale’s voice snapped my out of it “An I Can’t even imagine what you’re going through, but this…” She signaled Erwin’s silhouette through the window who was talking to Shadis outside the office building. “Is for the best. You’re not alone in this, You can pull it off and once you’re out of this hellhole, you’ll be able to breathe again without the constant fear of being discovered.” She said, trying to cheer me up. My head nodded in complete auto pilot, my brain too focused on the tight ball of nerves simmering in the bottom of my stomach. 

Hale stayed at my room until curfew, leaving me alone and in the dark. Sleep escaped me all night, and I wish I could say it was because of nerves for a new chapter in my life, but in reality the bitter taste in throat was all the proof I needed to know that I was, in fact, afraid.

No, that’s not it… Afraid was putting it lightly. 

I was terrified. The idea of having to encounter a titan was again turned my blood into liquid ice and cast numbness upon my fingers. And it wasn’t just that, I was afraid of dying. A death so cruel and brutal as my dad’s. If I stayed and avoided that type of death, I was risking a cold-hearted death, so cold like the blade piercing Annton’s flesh. I didn’t know which option was better to be honest. 

I pressed my finger against the stone in Annton’s ring as well as Dad’s one and frowned. Tears welled in my eyes when I remembered the promised I made to my lost friend. I would survive, or in the worst-case scenario, I wouldn’t stop fighting. Staying inside the walls would be like giving up, surrendering my own beating heart to Lord Reiss’s desire.

I was prepared for the Survey corps. 

I trained my ass off to be able to combat against those bloodthirsty titans, and even if it wasn’t what I would’ve chosen under normal circumstances, I would go out there and offer my heart for humanity. My life alone didn’t matter, but my body for the cause did.

I tightened my fist and forced myself to stop thinking about that. Still, even after I did, I could feel the cold fingers of terror brushing my brain.

Modest was a good way to describe our graduation ceremony, the only highlight was Shadis speech, and I couldn’t recall even half of it. The nerves I had because of my departure with Erwin later that night made my legs quiver and I had to keep my hands firmly clenched behind my back to hide the shaking. 

I looked at the left concrete wall, where Eren, Mikasa and Armin where standing among the few people that gathered to watch our oath to Humanity. Their eyes were trained on the stage, and the flickering flames of the torches cast somber shadows over their faces, making them look way older than their actual age.

My future commander stood tall besides my instructors, scanning our straight faces. I caught his blue eyes stopping a few seconds longer on my frame and a small smile showed on his face, barely noticeable from the distance separating us. Heat rose up my neck and I had to clench my fist tighter to avoid showing how affected I was by his attention. 

“Now, if you don’t mind,” Shadis turned to the group of high ranks next to him and called Erwin Over with an extender arm. “Commander Erwin, since your regiment is the only one who wasn’t promoted to the graduating class, I would like you to say some words…” 

If Erwin was surprised by the request, he didn’t show it. Nodding his head he marched forward, taking the center of the stage with arms behind his back and a straight back, even his chin was tilted upwards, with a wide stance. Everything about the way he presented himself screamed power. 

“Since most of you are aware, I am the commander of the Scout regiment.” His voice traveled across the square, and all eyes were on him immediately. “The survey corps are in charge of recollecting vital information about the titans behind those walls that threaten our lives, with the purpose of defeating them one day. We are those who dare to step outside these safe walls with the objective of reclaiming the territory we lost in the fall of wall Maria. Some people even dare to call us the last hope of humanity” 

He paused for a second, letting his statement sink in. His face looked tired, worn out by something bigger than just fear. Even the sunset coloured lights coming from the fire weren’t able to make his eyes shine. The dull empty feel was something I’ve never seen on him before. 

“And i’m not going to step here and lie to all of you…” Instructor Keith murmured something under his breath and rubbed the bridge of his nose. The quiet words Scare them floated in the air. I took a deep breath and braced myself for the worst. “Our success rate is extremely low, and in the last three years we have lost half of our troops. From those of you who join us, there’s a big chance a thirty percent won’t survive this next year. “An undignified murmur drowned his words, and from my side I could see one girl shaking her head with a fearful frown. Erwin waited for everyone to settle down before he began again, voice more passionate than before. “In four years, the big majority will be dead, but those of you who survive, will become soldiers with a high survival rate. I won’t lie or sugarcoat the facts for you to join us. Those of you who decide to, will be because you’re truly ready to give your life up for humanity… And I want those of you who will, to stay right were you are. Whoever is already settled, for one of the other two branches may leave now.” He concluded, voice sharp like a blade.

Taking a step back, Erwin waited for us to move, and Shadis frowned at him, murmuring again about the fear he implanted in our brains. 

My eyes found Eren and Mikasa’s who stood still, encouraging me with subtle nods, but when I looked at Armin he looked as sick as I felt. Fear close it’s clutches on my stomach and what little dinner I had threated to spill out right at my feet. I could feel my heart in my throat, closing my airways and making me dizzy. Trying to breathe was a torture and my brain bombarded me with the day I saw everything crumble to the ground. And I might do the same if I stayed where I was for a second longer. 

Was I having a pannick attack or simply dying? I couldn’t tell.

Cold sweat prickeld my back and adrenaline pumped my legs, urging them on to bolt right out the doors and away. The mere thought of having to face titans once more made me want to cry, and when Erwin’s eyes swept the shaking crowd and stayed locked with mines for a few moments, I thought I might, before he skipped to the next person in line. 

a ‘Fuck this’ preceded footsteps, and as if a spell had been broken, a choir of dozens more followed. The temptation of following them was like a heavy rock on my stomach. 

I wanted to say fuck it all. Lord Reiss and his stupid grudge, The survey corps, Hale’s plan, everything could go and burn in hell. I wanted to go back to the farm with Armin’s grandpa and the Kids, I wanted to go back to my nights in the basement and mornings with dad, where my only concern was hiding black eyes and bruised knuckles instead of my identity. But no matter how much I cried or struggled, those times where not coming back. Annton, my dad, Armin’s Grandpa…. All gone too soon, and the scars of their death still scorched my soul.

And I was going to sign up for a painful and gruesome death just like them. 

My feet moved by themselves, and I took a step back, closing my eyes tightly to avoid the judging eyes of Erwin, and clenching my fist with enough force to turn my knuckles white. Almost in a daze I convinced myself that running with the rest was the right call, avoiding the horror that awaited me. But sharp, cold metal broke me out of my stupor. I looked down and the red stone glimmered under the warm light. Annton’s ring rested next to my dad’s, both of them securely around my fingers. 

And then it hit me with the force of a kick to the stomach. 

I already knew what Horror was.

My friend died in my arms, his blood staining my skin forever. My dad sacrificed himself on behalf of humanity… Was I really about to disrespect them like that? 

My father raised no coward. 

I already looked at horror right in the face and came out alive. I knew what it was all about, and dying was no longer a fear i had, but my loved one’s disappointment scared me to the bones. 

Yes, fear was still there, caressing my heart with its icy fingers and trying to beckon me into the easy way out, but I wasn’t about to let it consume me like a dying candle. 

My promise to Eren came back to me, about ending the titan together. Maybe I wasn’t as serious about it as he was, but it was important to him. 

Annton’s words to me when my first fight occurred resonated in my brain and I could almost hear the smugness in his voice. 

“You’re gonna go far, Kid”

My dad’s last words followed. 

“I’m so proud of you…”

I knew I would eventually regret not backing out when I had the chance. Probably when I was inside a titan’s mouth, but i bit my lip hard enough to draw blood and I stayed put. 

When the walking ceased I pried my eyes open and looked around. The line of cadets had completely vanished, leaving me alone in front of the scrutinizing gaze of my superiors and the kids. 

Shadis eyes were opened with surprise, and it only made me feel worse about my choice. I had conflicted emotions with it, but when I looked at Erwin’s bright eyes shining with something akin to pride I knew it was too late to back down. I had to trust my abilities to survive, I managed to do so for twenty years, I could do the same outside the walls, or so I hoped. 

Erwin’s eyes turned to stone, wiping away every speck of emotion from them. He stared at me for what I felt were ages, and my soul was completely out in the open for him to judge. 

“Are you willing to die if I ask you to?” A spear of cold terror pierced my heart, but one look at the kid’s proud eyes forced me to bury it in the depth of my heart, where my grief for Ann and Dad lived. 

“I don’t want to die, sir.” I said, and his eyebrow quirked up, trying to figure me out. “ But… I’m willing to follow you to the death.” And I found myself marvelling at how real my words were. Hell, death wasn’t in my plans. All the chaos I was creating was just so I could have a chance at surviving. 

Erwin smiled at me

“In that case, Welcome to the Survey Corps, cadet.” He said. His eyes closed and one of his hands signaled at me. “Offer up your heart to humanity!” He roared, and I immediately swore, my fust colliding harshly against my ribcage, and from the dull ache that blossomed beneath it, I knew a bruise was sure to appear “Tonight you return to the base with me.” He finished, turning around and walking off the stage and outside. 

My feet stayed nailed to the floor, since I was too overwhelmed to move. The rest of the instructors followed Erwin outside, except from Keith Shadis, who sauntered over to where I was. 

“At rest, cadet.” Shakily I lowered my arm. “I know your father would be proud of you, Müller. Don’t die out there.” He finished leaving right after. 

I let out the air I was holding in my lungs and allowed myself to tremble a few extra moments before I had to put my big girl’s pants on. 

Eren, Armin and Mikasa came over to where I was. She placed a hand on my shoulder and squeezed lightly.

“Wait for us, don’t die until then.” She voiced, and I tried to laugh, but it came out scratchy and choked. “Fear is not going to go away, (Y/n). You can’t let it control you if you want to survive. We’ve seen you train, you’re really good and capable. Just remain calm in the moments of stress. “ I looked at her black eyes and I saw my reflection in them. I didn’t look as pale as I thought, but if Mikasa was going out of her way to make me feel better, then she could tell how shaken up I was.

“Let’s go (Y/n), you need to pack up so you can leave with Commander Erwin Tonight.” Armin, always the voice of reason linked my arms with his and started walking towards the exit. 

The silence on our way back to our cabin was the loud, and Eren didn’t open his mouth once. 

My bag was already inside the cart that was going to take me and Erwin back at the base of the Survey Corps. My shaking was was under control, but my tears made an appearance. I had to say goodbye to the kids for a second time, and there was I chance I would never see them again once the cart took off.

I looked at the three of them and noticed how different everything was from the first time. They were no longer kids, their soft features replaced by muscle, their small frame replaced by a height that towered over me. They had turned into soldiers, and next time we encountered each other once more, it would be permanent. Or at least I hoped so.

Erwin was waiting for me inside the cart, and even if the shadows covered his face, I could feel his eyes on my back. I didn’t wan’t him to wait, but saying goodby was torture.

I wanted to stretch the moment as much as possible.

Eren had been silent ever since the ceremony concluded, but his eyes pierced my own, his eyebrows furrowed, casting a shade upon the dark shade of green of his irises, turning it almost black under the starry night.

“Trust a little more on yourself (y/n). At least half as much as we trust in you.” Eren said, under his breath, if the breeze was a little stronger it would surely drown his voice “We will see each other again, I promise you that. We’ll keep writing and you’ll be back for our graduation... Right?”

“Of course!” I rushed to say. “I wouldn’t dare to miss it.” Extending my arms towards them, I waited for them to come into them just as they did when they were younger. Group hugs were a little hard since Eren and Armin’s build had doubled and Mikasa was stronger. Your arms no longer reached around them, but still, even if uncomfortable, they were warm. Mikasa’s arms tightened around my waist, and I knew how much she hated people touching her, but she always did an exception for me. “I’ll miss the three of you so much. And I’m so proud of you, you’re the best recruits I know, no matter what the instructors say... I’ll see you in a year.”

I choked on a sea of goodbyes and pleads to stay with them for another year, but when Erwin called my name softly, I let them go and turned around. The small crate I used as a chair brought back fond memories of my last night with Annton, and when the cart moved forwards, flashbacks of the rainy day, where I said goodbye to the kids for the first time, took my breath away.

“ I see all of you are close...” Erwin commented with an even tone, and I wasn’t sure my voice could manage to do the same.

“Y-Yeah.” I cleared my throat when it sounded groggy “They plan to join us next year.” The bitter taste of bile rose and coated my tongue at the thought.

“And I see you’re not very fond of the idea.” He leaned back against the wood as I crossed my arms over my chest, trying to keep my chest warm against the biting cold that has spread through my heart.

“I’d rather they wouldn’t dive headfirst into danger... But it’s their decision after all, i’m no one to prevent it.” I let my eyes drift back, where the training camp was shrinking in the distance. “They’re brave, I know they’ll be fine.”

“You’re brave too.” He stated, as sure as if he was saying the sky was blue “I saw the doubt in your eyes back there. Learning the information I gave you, i’m sure you must’ve been afraid, but you could take it by the reins. Fear doesn’t control you, you can keep it in check and get through it. And for that you have my respect “His warm fingers curled over my shoulder, and I could feel it spread over my whole arm. “I don’t know what you did, or what are the circumstances that brought you to our lines, but either way, you chose to stay. You’re not as cowardly as you think.” With a subtle tilt to his mouth, he turned around and curled over himself, his cape functioning as a blanket.

In the silence that followed, I mulled over his words. He had rendered me speechless. Time passed like that, Erwin fast asleep, his deep breaths even and calming, but still I was unable to fall asleep. My brain too focused on fantasies where I could choose freely to give my life up for humanity, as a selfless and brave act instead of a desperate rouse to save my own skin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *posts this and runs away before someone throws a rock her way*  
> Hi! So long no read...heh  
> I:m so sorry for being absent, but life was tough for me, from family drama to mental health ending with the virus. life is beating me into submission but I finally found inspiration again.  
> Hopefully I can post next chapter before the end of this month


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